| Black_Jesus | Date: Friday, 2011/06/17, 2:58 PM | Message # 1 |
 Jobber
Group: EWA Roster
Messages: 32
Status: Offline
| The scene opens up inside the EWA Colosseum for the super card “Retaliation”. Jenny Jacobs is standing by inside the interview area with microphone in hand.
“Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to our super card, Retaliation. This is set to be one historic night. We‘ve got a hoard of championship matches set for tonight, including the world championship match between the champ, Buzzsaw and challenger, Justin Marsham. Not to mention a number one contender match to the world championship between El Pablo and Black Jesus, himself. If you‘re not here, you are missing out….”
Just then, Jenny spots a man walking outside the camera shot.
“Speaking of the number one contender match, BLACK JESUS…..BLACK JESUS….CAN I GET A WORD?”
Black Jesus appears amongst the camera’s, standing next to Jenny Jacobs, along side Leonard Jenkins. Black Jesus, dressed in a white suit, pimp cane and sunglasses, Black Jesus nonchalantly removes his black sunglasses as he eyeballs Jenny from head to toe before addressing her.
“Young lady, I think the word is….ABSTINENCE…why don’t you go practice that and then get back to me. Black Jesus’ penis itches just lookin’ at you…..relax, Black Jesus only kidds, now want you wanna know, baby doll?”
“I just wanna get your words on your match with El Pablo, arguably the biggest match of your career, tonight. If you win, you get a shot at the world heavyweight champion.”
“Oh really?….is that what Black Jesus is doin here tonight? Is that what this match is all about, Jenny? Cuz Black Jesus didn’t know that, Leo…did you know about this?”
“Playah, I’m just a surprised as you are. Ha Ha!”
“Black Jesus know what’s at stake tonight, Jenny. But this just another night in the spotlight for Black Jesus. Biggest match of Black Jesus career…..smallest match of his career…it don’t matter. Big match, small opponent. It all ends the same way for his holiness. Pablo Diablo got no chance of beating Black Jesus, he can bring every member of the Lollipop Guild….it won’t help, Black Jesus aint the Wizard of Oz but you can jump on these Emerald Nuts! Fact is, Pablo Diablo is too concerned with putting on a show for these ungrateful people, too concerned with the cheers, the fame, the glitz and glamour. Black Jesus aint worried about all that……only thing he concerned with is going out there, whoopin Pablo Diablo’s ass and moving on to become the next world heavyweight champion. Pabs, I whooped your hair stylist, Eli Sweeney’s ass last week and this week it’s your turn….again.”
“Well speaking of last week in your match against Eli Sweeney, a whole lot of chaos took place, what was a match between you and Eli, turned into a second match between you and El Pablo, with the Underground championship changing hands, just pure uncontrollable chaos, what was going on?”
“What…you weren’t watching? You saw what happened, yeah, Black Jesus had an insignificant match with Sweeney Odd, THE FLAMBOYANT HAIRSTYLIST FROM FLEET STREET. So I took it upon myself to take Pablo Diablo’s Underground championship and yeah, Black Jesus don’t have that title around his waste now, but…..neither does Pablo Diablo. Ya see, Pabs don’t have what it takes to go toe to toe with golden foe. Fact is, Black Jesus is faster, stronger and smarter than Pablo Diablo and….”
Black Jesus notices that Jenny chuckled a bit as he said “Faster”
“Oh is there something funny I just said, Jenny?”
“It’s just, you said you were faster than Pablo and I sort of disagree.”
“Oh well then lucky for you, Jenny, Black Jesus don’t give a damn what you think. You’ll see, Jenny Jacobs, beating Pabs will be easy, well, not quite as easy as you are, but easy none the less. Now if we’re done here, Black Jesus got some planning to do for his celebration party, champagne, confetti and what not so if you’ll excuse me…”
“Oh there is one more thing I gotta ask you, Black Jesus. Given the slightest chance you do win tonight and become the new number one contender to the world heavyweight champion.”
“Slightest Chance….heh…”
Black Jesus smirks as he looks over at Leonard Jenkins
“Jenny, this victory is inevitable.”
“Well be that as it may, what are your thoughts on the world title match this evening, is there one man in particular that you would rather face?”
“Do you know Black Jesus? Are you new? How long Black Jesus been talking to you right now….ten, fifteen minutes? Have you not figure me out by now? Do you not feel my swag? Are you feeling side effects of your many Hepatitis shots? IT DON’T MATTER?! No man matches the ability of Black Jesus. Buzzsaw, Justin Marsham….both over-rated, now don’t get it twisted, Both of these men have shown a lot of talent and have a track record that nobody can argue with BUT when it comes to going one on one with Black Jesus, nobody can measure up. It’s a foregone conclusion, in a few months, He will rule this all as your NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION….AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS BLACK JESUS WHEN HE LAY HIS VENGENCE UPON THEE!”
With that said, Black Jesus and Leonard Jenkins walk off the set.
“Well there you have it, a very confident Black Jesus, we’ll be back”
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