STAIRWAY TO DEATH MATCH
for the
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
BUZZSAW vs JUSTIN MARSHAM
The Camera pans the arena, ring crews working on the ropes, taking them down and strands of barb wire being put in their place. The camera finally settles on the announcer’s desk.
TT: Yeah she was telling me that I was ready for her, how she knew that I don’t know.
Masters: I don’t want to hear this.
TT: She was dancing naked on an old tire she found outside.
Masters: More like she found it in her cage. Hey look we are on air.
TT: Yeah we are.
Masters: Fans, this match we are about to see could easily end a career.
TT: Yeah I wouldn’t know about those kinds of matches.
Masters: (annoyed slightly) Sure you don’t, but as I was saying. The ring ropes are being replaced by barb wire. The barbs are sharp and will tear the flesh from your bones in a heartbeat.
TT: Don’t forget the other part.
Masters: (sighing) Yeah, the other part. What my rather dimly astute counterpart is talking about is the fact that there will be weapons. Some will be in trash cans ringside if the men in the ring can get to them, a few will thrown in at odd times and they can of course bring with them whatever they want. Bottom line is that no one will come out of this match in very good condition.
TT: Yeah they will be bloody and hurt good.
Masters: You got it oh great one of understatement.
TT: Mention the best part.
Masters: And that would be that the world title is hanging from a loop above the ring, the only way to get to is by a ladder.
TT: The ref is in the ring, why I don’t know.
Masters: (shaking his head slightly and mouthing the words "why me”): We have the word that the ring is ready. The barbwire is in place a few basic weapons are in the ring. So let’s get the lunatics out here for the match to officially get started.
As usually Fabian hits the rings steps and stops short of the wire. Touching the barbs, he looks at his finger ……..
Fabian: IIIIEEEEEECCCCHHHHEEEEWWWWAAAWWWWAAAAA THAT’S SOME SHARP SHITTTT!!!!!!
Standing on the apron, he brings the mic to his lips leans over like he has to fart and begins ………….
Fabian: TONIGHT THE EWA BRINGS YOU A MATCH SO BRUTAL THE ANCIENT ROMAN GLADIATORS ARE GLAD THEY ARENT HERE!!!! COMING TO THE RING FIRST ………. HAILING FROM FORT WAYNE INDIANAAAAA…….WEIGHING 220 POUNDS AND STANDING A RATHER BLAND SIX FOOT ……… THE CHALLENGER ………..JUSSTTTTINNNNN MAAAARRRRRRRRSSSHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!
Wretches and Kings by Lincoln Park blasts out into the arena as pyros go off all over the place, the crowd half and half on Marsham as the cameras pan around till he is spotted coming out of the crowd near the announcer’s desk. His face set hard and his eyes fixed on the barb wire. Slowly walking to the steps, he reaches out and touches the wire and looks it over, slowly rolling under it and into the ring, a small scratch already on his arm. He reaches to his waist and unhooks a chain he had been wearing as a belt and wrapped it around his hand as he turns and looks around the arena.
Fabian: AAAANNNNDDDD NOOOWWW THEEEEE MAN YOU ALL CAME TO SEE!!!!! WWEEEIIGHHHHING IN AT AN AWEEESOMMMEEEE 310 PDSS OF BAAAADASSS STACKED IN A SIX FOOT SEVEN INCH FRAMMMEE …….. HEEEE ISSS NOOOONNNNEEE OTHERRRRR THHHHANN THEE MANNN WITHHHH THE PLANNNN …….. THEEEEE ONNNEEE THHEEEEE ONNNNLLLYYYY BUZZZZZSAAAAAAAWWWWWW!!!!
The crowd literally loses their minds as Dead Bodies Everywhere by Korn hits. Pyros go off slightly more than for Marsham. The cameras hunt for him and finally find him on the shoulders of fans being carried down to the ring area, his hand holding his now infamous kendo stick, wrapped in barbwire.
The fans let him off their shoulders and Buzz slowly walks around the ring looking at all the weapons ringside. A huge smile on his face as he looks at Marsham then at the barbs on the wire. Slowly he slides in the ring.
Masters: This was a rather overdone entrance. Maybe we can finally get this match started.
TT: Yeah I want to see someone try to be as hardcore as you.
Masters: Barney isn’t in this match.
Buzz and Marsham circle each other and wave the weapons at each other to show they aren’t empty handed. Buzz stops and grins, he drops his kendo stick and motions for Marsham to come at him. Marsham starts to drop his chain and instead charges at Buzz, slipping low under his attempt to lockup with him, he slides between his legs, using the chain to wrap around one leg and pulling hard, Buzz stumbling on one leg. Marsham gets to his feet and drop kicks the other leg, dropping Buzz to the mat.
Masters: Sneaky move, you have to like that.
TT: More like he doesn’t know what else to do.
Seizing the chance, Marsham wraps both ankles in the chain and stands up, then quickly dropping a hard elbow to the back of Buzz’s head. His face hitting hard and making him growl in pain. Looking at the kendo stick, Marsham picks it up and looks at it like the holy grail. Turning back to Buzz he slowly walks to him and measures him for the blow.
Masters: This is bad. Already the Champ is in trouble.
TT: You mean the soon to be Champ is in control.
Marsham draws the stick back and slams it down, Buzz having way too much time rolls away and hits the barbwire, letting out a bellow as his shirt is torn and he gets his first injury. Marsham slams it down again, same result, Buzz starts rolling around the ring and out of the reach of the kendo stick. His ankles coming loose and the chain now in his hands. Standing up quickly, he starts swinging the chain, Marsham keeping his distance. Both men at a stale mate.
Masters: This is going to be a long night.
TT: You don’t have a date, so why not stay and enjoy the show?
Both men circle and a ringside attendant, just for this match, tosses a trash can with more weapons inside the ring. A few spilling out, a bowling ball, a magnet, brass knucks, other weapons still in the can. Buzz using his quickness grabs the can and pulls it away. His face sporting a large grin as he dumps it out and small bags pile at his feet. A confused look passes his face as he is met with the bowling ball to the back.
TT: Hey he got a strike.
Masters: Never thought I would miss Daniels.
Marsham moves in and starts kicking away at Buzz, the ring shaking with the force. A loud grunt escapes from Buzz as Marsham grabs the small packages and starts tearing them open and pouring them on Buzz, not satisfied, he reaches down, grabbing him by the hair and hitting him with hard rights, Buzz staggers and doesn’t go down. Taking a chance, Marsham tries to throw him into the ropes. Buzz manages to stop in time.
The crowd letting out a collective sigh of relief.
Buzz turning to Marsham who is backing up slowly till he feels something at his feet, the kendo stick. Buzz grabs the trash can and readies to throw it at Marsham, instead he uses it as a shield to block the kendo stick. The blows raining down till the can looks like a V and Buzz is kneeling to protect his head. With a loud grunt the can is knocked from Buzz’s hands and the stick finds its mark on his head and sent him backwards to the corner and into the barb wire. The material is torn as Marsham reaches for him and pulls hard to make sure the wire cuts more. Getting Buzz to his feet, Marsham snaps off a spike ddt, Buzz lying face down on the mat. A second can is thrown into the ring and the weapons spill out. Marsham quickly goes to them and pulls out what has to have been the worst thing put in the ring.
TT: OH MAN!!!
Masters: Buzzsaw is about to have his ass acne removed.
TT: Ass acne? I just have pimples on my ass.
Masters: Somebody please put me out of action too.
Marsham grins wickedly and turns it on, finding it working, he looks at Buzz and then to the crowd. Not caring what they say, he leaps on Buzzsaws back and starts grinding at his ass. Sparks fly as he does, a surprised look is on his face as Buzz has a maniacal look on his face and grabs a pack that had fallen out of the first can, tears it open and throws it over his shoulder to get in the air around Marshams head. Trying to keep the powder out of his eyes, Marsham moved off Buzz and backed away while Buzz pointed to his head and then at his ass.
Masters: Timmons, Buzz is mocking you.
TT: Oh yeah sure, he is pointing out he has metal underwear on. No Covey ass shave this time.
Masters: Only you would think of his ass like that.
Buzz looking around sees what he needed, wire cutters. He turns and starts cutting the top row. Then the second. The wires lying on the ring cover. Leaping out of the ring, he looks around then sees what he wants. A cart is setting at the end of the walkway leading to the ring. Digging in it he turns and runs at the ring, tossing a toilet bowl in the ring just missing the moving Marsham. Laughing, he pulls the cart closer to the ring and pulls a table that was sticking out of it and throws it in the ring, followed by a sledgehammer, a large magnet, a cannon ball, wire wrapped kendo stick, and a box with something in it that isn’t visible. Stopping and then looking at the fans who cheer anything he throws in the ring, he reaches under it and pulls out a ladder, then looking at the title hanging above the ring, that goes in the ring as well.
Masters: Everything but the kitchen sink.
TT: Buzzsaw wants to keep his title, he will stop at nothing to keep it.
Masters: Thank you Captain Obvious.
Buzz paused then turned to the ring then paused again, reaching in the cart, he pulls out a kitchen sink and throws it in the ring. The fans are loving this as he climbs back in the ring, Marsham attacking him as he does. Both men throwing punches and neither backing down. Each stepping back as the crowd is loving the brutal attack. Marsham grabs the long box that was thrown in and pulls out a barb wire wrapped light tube. Buzz grabbing the sledge hammer and twirls it around like a baton in a kids hands. Both men circling, trying to not trip, Buzz lunges and misses with the sledgehammer, but Marsham connects across the back of Buzz with the light tube. It shatters, powder and glass flying everywhere, the wire catching in the last of the shirt on his back.
Buzz bellowing in pain staggers to the corner, Marsham grabbing a couple packets and tearing them open throws the fine grained contents onto the back of Buzzsaw, the yells as salt hits the open wounds is painful to hear. Not missing a chance to grab the title, Marsham sets up the ladder and doesn’t hesitate to start climbing.
Masters: This is it, already the ladder is in play.
TT: I don’t think so. Buzz may be in pain, but he isn’t stupid.
Masters: Matter of opinion.
Buzz shakes the ladder and Marsham stops climbing. He tries to hang on as the ladder starts falling over and to late realizes that he is about to meet Mr Barbwire. The hooks tearing into his chest as he hits and manages to bounce off and into the waiting arms of Buzzsaw. Picking him up, he slams him hard on the collapsed ladder. The crowd cheering and groaning at the same time. Pulling the table up, he sets it up, looks around and finds a small bag and opens it, pouring thumb tacks on it and then looking quickly in a small bucket he had sat in the ring, taking out lighter fluid, he sprays the table. Pulling a lighter out of his pocket, he sets it all on fire, the flames jumping to life. Marsham slowly getting to his feet, Buzz waiting and grabbing him, setting him in place for the Buzz Kill.
TT: YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Masters: Billy Madison sit down and shut up already, Buzz has him and it’s just a matter of seconds before there is Marsham Marshmallows roasting on an open fire.
Buzzsaw starts to hit his move and Marsham gets loose, Kicking Buzz and doubling him open, trying to get him in position for a powerbomb, Marsham is thwarted when Buzz powers him back and away from the burning table. Grabbing the magnet and hitting Marsham he looks around as the blood flows from a cut the magnet opened on Marshams forehead. Grabbing Marsham with his hand on either side of his head, Buzz starts biting at the wound. Marsham thrashing around as the blood pours faster. His face a crimson mess. Letting Marsham fall to the canvas, he turns and sets up the ladder and starts to climb slowly. The fans cheering each step. Almost at the top, he stops, Marsham throws himself at the ladder and it topples with Buzz riding it down. He hits the barely burning table and goes through. The tacks flying everywhere as Marsham lays in the ring, Buzz near the ropes.
TT: This is not hardcore, this play time at the prison.
Masters: Buzz is cut, looks like on the side of his head, he is bleeding like a stuck pig. And how would you know about playtime at prisons?
TT: I talked to your last boyfriend.
The crowd reacts as Hank, the much fought over super fan comes to ring side. He looks at both men and gets next to Buzz, shaking him and trying to get him to come around. He starts taking to him and Buzz starts to pull himself up by grabbing the wire. Ignoring the cuts his hands were getting. He nods to Hank and watches as Hank runs around the ring and grabs the wire that was cut earlier. He holds one end and give the now standing Buzz the other end, he starts wrapping it around him like a boa.
TT: What the hell is that geek doing?
Masters: Annoying a commentator trying to do his job.
Buzz hooks his end of the wire into the wrapped up Hanks back pocket, he looks at Marsham who is starting to get to his feet. Buzz grabs Hank by the back of his collar and the seat of his pants, he spins throwing Hank literally in the air and into Marsham, taking them both through the wire and to the floor beyond.
CROWD : HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.
Buzzsaw looking around the ring, sees the ladder and the broken leg on it, he slides out the open end of the ring and pulls out another one, pushing it into the ring, he follows it and pulls it under the title. He points to it and the arena cheers him on. He starts up it as the crowd starts yelling, Marsham has managed to get the wire wrapped Hank off him, his upper body a mess of cuts and blood trails. He gets in the ring, grabs the kitchen sink and throws it hitting both the ladder and Buzz. Causing him to fall hard to the ring. Marsham starts to walk towards the ladder, but the semi unwrapped Hank manages to get his arms wrapped around the ankle of Marsham and stop him from getting far. Marsham kicks at the back of Hank as he watches to make sure Buzz doesn’t get up to fast. Getting free, he grabs the ladder and sets it up from where it had fallen on the top row of wire, starts to climb it as Buzz begins to stir, Hank still hurting tries to slow Marsham down. Getting kicked in the face for his effort.
TT: Why are they not getting that Geek out of there?
Masters: I am being told that since he was used as a weapon he can stay in the ring.
Buzz slowly getting to his feet, he gets to the ladder, he grabs Marshams leg and Hank falls back. Marsham kicks at Buzz and gets pounded in the leg by clubbing blows. Each giving as good as he gets. Marsham starting to tire and Buzz climbing up the ladder next to him. Hank rolling out of the ring a look of confusion on his face. Slowly making his way to the ring side announcers table, leaning in close.
TT: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!!!??!!
Masters: What are you doing out here anyways?
Hank: I WAS TREATED AS A PAWN !!! I AM NOT A PAWN TO BE TOYED WITH!!!
TT: What is he talking about.
Masters: I thought you spoke geek?
Buzz and Marsham are still fighting on the ladder Buzz having moved to the other side, both mean near the top, throwing punches back and forth both men reaching for and grabbing the title.
Hank looks at the ring with an "I’m sorry” look on his face., he pulls a small switch from his pocket, he looks once more at the two men and then at the switch, he presses the little button and the ring erupts.
Masters: THE RING IS EXPLODING!!!!!
The ring is engulfed in a fireball from underneath, it collapses into a hollow with the ladder both men and the title all falling into the crater in the middle.
The ref looking confused as he tries to climb into the mess.
TT: OH HELL!!! HANK BLEW THE RING AND EVERYONE UP!!!!
The crowd cheers, boos and some sobs are heard as the Fans Man’s Music hits the arena. Frankie Manning comes out and looks at the ring then at the ref. He walks up to the ring and looks over into the crater, motioning to the ref then ring announcer.
Fabian: LADIES AND GENTELMEN!!! THE GM HAS ORDERED THIS MATCH TO BE CONTINUED... EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ENDED WHEN ONE MAN GRABBED HE TITLE BOTH MEN HAD IT WHEN THEY CAME DOWN! SO THE REF HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED TO RESTART THE MATCH UNDER NORMAL RULES!
The crowd show mixed reactions to the announcement as Manning nods to the ref
An arm slowly snakes towards a prone body, draping with no power over his opponent and collapses in top, the referee rolls into the destroyed ring and gets down for the count
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3!!!!!
Manning looks at the ref and the ref talks to Fabian ….
THE WINNER
AND
NEWWWWW WORLD
CHAMPION!!!!!!
JUSTIN MARSHAM!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera pans across the arena and the overhead camera shows Marsham with his arm across Buzzsaw while both men are down.
Masters: What a gruelling match, and we've crowned a NEW World Heavyweight Champion.
Timmons: I'm speechless, that was one of the most violent matches i've ever witnessed. And i've witnessed, and been part of, a lot.
Both men are completely unmoving as, for the second time tonight, the EMTs come down to the ring, this time with two stretchers. The boos of the fans as the realisation sinks in that Marsham has won the belt is huge
Timmons: These fans not taking kindly to their new champion, but I think they both deserve a standing ovation for the hell they've put themselves through, and Hank has a lot of answering to do to these fans
Masters: And himself, he CAUSED Marsham to win... he deserves a medal, but he's proberbly kicking himself instead
Timmons: What a way to end Retaliaion, and my first
Masters: And hopefully last
Timmons: Night here as commentator.
Masters: It's been a great show, full of ups, down, suprises and shocks, Shatter Pojnt should prove to be interesting.... it only remains for me
Timmons: AND me
Masters: Yeah, whatever... to say goodnight from the Empire
copyright EWA 2011
















