| SouthernExpress | Date: Sunday, 2011/08/21, 8:56 AM | Message # 1 |
 Development
Group: EWA Roster
Messages: 12
Status: Offline
| The scene opens in a finished basement, the 52” flat screen TV is the only light in the room. Jimmy Lane sits in front of the TV with a box to his right, he is looking through the box and tossing what appears to be old VHS tapes aside. He pulls out another tape and looks at the label, he starts to laugh and slides the tape into a really old and slightly dented VCR.
Jimmy: Oh yeah!
He grabs the remote and pushes play, the fuzzy screen is replaced by what looks to be a hotel room. Bobby Rose’s face appears right in front of the camera and he gives it a thumbs up and walks behind the camera. The shot is of a queen sized bed with two women sitting on the bed. As the camera zooms in, it shows that the two ladies in question are legendary valets Miss Sunshine and Betsy Bell from the old Kentucky Championship Wrestling promotion. There is a plate full of white snow on the night stand and a few empty whiskey bottles on the Motel 8 bed. Bobby walks into the shot as both women slide up to the edge of the bed, Miss Sunshine stands up, staggers a bit and starts to remove Bobby’s shirt. This is clearly from the 1980’s since Bobby has a flat stomach. Betsy starts to unbuckle his belt when Bobby grabs her hands.
Bobby: Hold up baby, I’m topless now, it’s not really fair that I’m the only one showing some skin.
The two laugh and look at each other, Betsy is the first to act pulling her shirt over her head to reveal a black bra, Miss Sunshine however walks over to the night stand and picks up a rolled up ten dollar bill and lowers her face to the plate and can be heard snorting. She turns back around and slowly unbuttons her blouse to reveal her bare breasts. Betsy Bell rolls over in her daisy duke cut off shorts and starts to feel her up as she backs her to the wall, Bobby rubs his hands together and kicks off his cowboy boots as Betsy unhooks her bra and tosses it on the floor. Miss Sunshine pushes off the wall and falls onto the bed and Betsy unbuttons her daisy dukes and slides them off before going to work on Miss Sunshine’s jeans. Bobby unbuckles his belt and kicks off his pants and joins the girls on the bed.
Jimmy is inching closer and closer to the TV and all of a sudden, the screen goes black.
Bobby: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU FREAK? PUT YOUR DICK BEATERS WHERE I CAN SEE ‘EM!!!
Jimmy raises his hands and slowly turns around to see Bobby Rose standing behind the couch without a shirt on, it’s clear that Bobby isn’t in the same shape as his 1980’s self.
Jimmy: I was looking at old wrestling tapes.
Bobby: DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A OLD WRESTLING TAPE TO YOU, YOU BASTARD!
Jimmy: I’m the bastard? Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me you had a three way with Miss Sunshine and Betsy Bell?
Bobby: It never came up, it’s not like I was hiding it for Christ‘s sake. You can’t just say, hey, by the way, I had a threesome.
Jimmy: The hell you can’t, you should have been like, “hey Jimmy, guess which two hot pieces of ass I nailed last night”. Damn man, I always had a major hard on for those two, if I known they’d do a three way I would have made my move.
Bobby: Well it took some convincing and a lot of whiskey and blow to get them in the mood but damn man it was worth every penny I spent that night. And upgrading from the single to a suit that night was a good choice, we turned that room upside down and every which way around. Hell, Betsy and I even had another go right on top of Sunshine! She didn’t even know we did it she was so coked out that night. There just to be some Polaroids in one of my boxes, those two girls loved the camera.
Jimmy Lane jumps up and grabs a box and rips it open.
Bobby: There not going to be in there, hell I lost those years ago, or sold them to a fan, I can’t remember. Hell, I’m lucky to remember half of the shit I did back then. The 80’s were crazy times, but damn I sure do miss those days.
Jimmy: You still talk to any of the old people?
Bobby: Nah, just you man, we are a dying breed. Two bad ass mothers that can still go like we are 20, we’re a rare breed Jimmy, you and I.
Jimmy sort of laughs and then looks up at Bobby.
Jimmy: So how were they?
Bobby: Man, I’m not going to give you a blow by blow man.
Jimmy: Ok, but tell me this, you think old Doc. Williams still has their contact numbers? I mean, they aren’t going to look like that but I always had a thing for those old daisy dukes and man Sunshine always gave me wood.
Bobby: Man, you really are a sick bastard. Miss Sunshine is dead, you know that. She overdosed about ten years ago in a flea bag motel in Rock Hill, South Carolina with some pimp she’s been seeing or working for. No one really knows for sure.
Jimmy: Really, that’s a damn shame. She was one fine piece of ass, I wonder what she charged before she kicked it.
Bobby throws the remote at Jimmy who manages to dodge it.
Bobby: Show some damn respect man, she was one of us.
Jimmy: I know, sorry man. Well it was a shame none the less, but how about Betsy, I wonder if she can still slide into a pair of those shorts?
Bobby: Not without a crowbar and a lot of lard. She’s huge man, like 400lbs huge, she blow up like a whale man after she lost her leg to diabetes.
Jimmy: Well…
Bobby: Man, you really need help.
The two laugh as footsteps are heard coming down the steps, Red Fitzgerald turns the corner and flips on the lights.
Red: What are you two boys doing up at this hour?
Jimmy: Ummm…research, Red.
Bobby: Research? You are going with research?
Jimmy: This match got me thinking man, these Mayhem guys are a bit violent. I started thinking about those matches back in Kentucky Championship Wrestling, you know against The Moore Brothers. Everyone told us not to mess with those old boys, that they were as mean as they come. That’s kind of like what they are telling us about these Mayhems.
Bobby: Well we didn’t listen to them then and we sure as hell aren’t going to listen to them now Jimmy. Those are our belts, brother!
Jimmy: Yeah but do you remember how brutal those matches were Bobby? The broken ribs and my broken nose. I had to wear the goofy ass nose guard everywhere I went for two months. It was its very own cock block. I even had to shave the ‘stache due to the tape.
Bobby: Yeah I remember that, you looked like a goofy son of a bitch. Well, more goofy than usual, anyways.
Red: You worried about this match Jimmy?
Jimmy: No sir, I know we got what it takes to bring home those belts, add them to our collections but I’m worried about The Mayhems, they remind me too much of The Moore Brothers.
Bobby: Because they are big and smelly?
Red: Or because of their short tempers?
Jimmy: No, I mean yeah, all of that stuff but I looked into their eyes. Their eyes are the same as The Moore Brothers, kind of off you know, you remember them right?
Bobby: Hell yeah, I remember them.
Jimmy: Then you remember that it turned out those bastards were inbreed right, that their momma and daddy were brother and sister. After we found that out we had to go get tested for all sorts of shit since we came in contact with their blood. I don’t want to get another needle in my stomach Red, can’t you ask the EWA to run some sort of test on them, prove that they aren’t inbreed like those Moore Brothers.
Bobby doubles over laughing but Red just looks at Jimmy who has a serious look on his face.
Jimmy: I’m not kidding, that needle hurt like a mother. I want you to demand them be tested Red, I’m serious!
Red: Jimmy I can’t do that, we have to be more politically correct boys, more tolerable of those different than us. It’s ok now for guys to dress in drag and wear women’s underwear, I mean outside of the bedroom Bobby. And guys are painting their nails now and have ear rings. Sure, back in the day we’d take those fruits out back and lay a beating on them till they became men but now we have to smile and accept them. It’s different times boys, I can’t just go and accuse them Mayhem’s of being inbreed without proof.
Jimmy: The proof is in their eyes Red, look into their eyes. They scream I’m the spawn of brother and sister loving!
Red: Damn Jimmy, now I have been told we all need to straighten up and get with it, we have said some hurtful stuff and need to catch up with the times.
Bobby: Yeah, times are different man. Just like that waitress I nailed the other night. Hell man, she made me wear a rubber! I told her I’d pull out but she wasn’t having any of it, and then made me buy the damn thing! But the joke was on her, I used a sandwich bag and just sprayed a little Pam on it, she never knew the difference.
Red: That’s not what I meant Bobby, but yes, times are different.
Bobby: And the days of full bush, man those are gone too. This lady was shaved, thought I was fucking a 14 year old. I made her show me her license, just to be safe. I do not want another situation on my hands like the time in Memphis.
Red: Yeah, that would be what they call bad PR.
Bobby: Listen Jimmy, we cool, we got this. Sure, the Mayhems are big and tough but we got experience on how to handle guys like them. Everyone is telling us we can’t win, that we have no shot, what we are going to get murdered but they don’t know us. They just see two older guys at the end of their careers.
Red: They can’t see that you two boys have the heart of a champion. You two have won every tag team title worth a piss and those EWA tag team straps are just the next in line. Sure, they pulled a fast one on us. The Hometown Heroes bolting like a bunch of chicken shits, because they knew they couldn’t beat you, so they vacated those belt. We have beaten every tag team the EWA has lined up for us. Sons of Ohio were supposed to be too young for us, but we beat them. The Wreckers were brought in to be that new fresh tag team to market because they have some chick but we showed them that a lady needs to stay out of the ring. We have beaten the best they have and now they want to make us prove that with The Mayhems. Well, bring them on!
Bobby: Yeah, they just can’t hand us those belts so they book the Mayhem’s for us to give the fans a little excitement. But these guys have seen better days, they are a non issue Jimmy. I’m not over looking them, it’s going to be a real fight, but we got this. I just need to know that my tag team partner isn’t going to freak out, I need your best Jimmy Lane!
Jimmy: You know I will give you my best Bobby, even if it mean more shots in the stomach because those freaks bleed on me. I’ll take the damn needle in the stomach for tag team gold, they say they are doing great things with medicine nowadays.
Red: Jimmy, I think it’s safe to say that the Mayhems do not have rabies.
Red and Bobby shake their heads in disbelief.
Red: I’m turning in. You boys best do the same, long day tomorrow.
Red turns and walks back up the stairs.
Bobby: Don’t you worry about this anymore Jimmy. And for God’s sake, stop looking them in the eyes, you will freak yourself out. You just need to follow me out there like old times. You follow my lead and we will be the new EWA Tag Team Champions. You trust me?
Jimmy: You know I do Bobby, you’re like the brother I never had.
Bobby: Good, take your mind off of this.
Bobby walks around the couch and picks up the remote and pauses.
Bobby: Oh hell, here you go, but you best not stair at my junk boy.
Bobby tosses him the remote and the pair laugh. Bobby turns and walks back up stairs and flips the light off. Jimmy turns back to the TV and hits play and watches as Bobby slides down Betsy’s panties to show the worlds hairiest bush.
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