*Black screen*

Narrator: “Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have ALL been waiting for. He is the master of disaster, the player of slayer, the thrilla of manila, prince of POP, and the queen of scream!....OOF!”

*There is a short silence, followed by shuffling, and muffled voices that are nearly unintelligible. Finally there is a loud boom over the microphone…followed by more silence.*

Narrator: “Take two in three…two….one… Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have ALL been waiting for. It is the return of the master of disaster, the beast from the east…coast, the lady killer. Known as the South Beach Specimen, he IS the Living Legend. You all know him as Big NASTY!”

*The screen begins to fade in, showing a familiar face. Big Nasty is looking as good as he ever has with his all black ensemble, and his black hair slicked back and tied in a pony tail. He has a very familiar smile on his face.*

Big Nasty: “That’s right folks, the Living Legend is making his triumphant return for one night only…hurry and grab your tickets while you still can! Wait a minute, what’s this? The tickets are already sold out! It appears that the fans of Empire Wrestling Association are fed up with the mediocrity that the wrestlers of this organization have to offer that they couldn’t help but grab these tickets up when they found out a headliner such as myself was going to be on the card. A smart man would have bought a time machine, went back in time and bought up all the tickets, selling them for triple their value.

*Big Nasty leans back in his chair and begins to laugh to himself*

BN: “It would seem that this fledgling Empire Wrestling Association and its fans are fed up with the mediocrity that this wrestling association’s roster has to offer. The fans were getting bored, ticket sales were going down, and viewership at home was at an all time low. Plain and simple, fans were losing interest, so the powers that be started brainstorming. They wanted to figure out how they could increase viewership, and get the fans to show back up to fill their arenas. Apparently it costs more to put cardboard cut outs of fans in the chairs than the owners could have guessed.

So what does this all have to do with me you ask? Well that’s quite simple. The powers that be here in the EWA wanted to bring back that pop, so they started scowering the tapes from EWA’s mother company, Combat Zone Wrestling. After passing through mostly crap and the same mediocrity they have in this company, they found a bright beam of light in a time of despair. They found a Legend among mere mortals. They found a man with charisma, in ring skills, good looks, personality…well let’s just get to it. They found me, they found me and they said to themselves “this is the man we’ve been waiting for!”

*Big Nasty pushes himself away from the desk, and begins to pace behind it.*

BN: “Now we can fast forward several weeks after their exhaustive search. I get a call from a good friend of mine, William Masters. He tells me they have an offer I can’t refuse. Apparently I’m so Awesome that the EWA has decided to give me a title, I believe it’s the International Title, and they want me to defend it. Well that got me thinking. Then came the money talk. For one show appearance, let’s just say it was worth my time to come out here and drop what I was doing. Plus I do it for the fan…

Maybe I just do it for myself! I’m the greatest thing to happen to the EWA since….since….well I am the greatest thing to happen to EWA. I mean, did you see the reaction of the crowd when I came out to announce my return? Did you hear that pop I got, how the fans just absolutely adore me! They love me, in turn; they are going to love EWA! I’m so happy I could save this fledgling league, and take it into the big time.”

*Big Nasty walks back over to the desk and picks up a piece of paper, and begins to look over it.*

BN: “I mean the only person with BIG enough NUTZ to even draw a crowd here would be my good friend El Pablo…but he’s only so big, and the crowd needed to sustain a wrestling federation, well that takes the shoulders of a Living Legend! Let’s just say the return of Big Nasty is going to be epic. They didn’t call it a super card for nothing! It’s super because the Living Legend is making his triumphant return! Egos will be bruised, bones will be broken…it will be a night you won’t forget…and it’s definitely about to get NASTY!"

*Black Screen*
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*At the Hospital*

Narrator: "We join our hero at the hospital, visiting a wounded friend."

*The scene opens up on the inside of a hospital room, where Big Nasty is standing on the side of the bed that Buck Evans is laying in. Buck has his leg propped up, with his ankle wrapped in a cast, and various bumps and bruises on his body.*

Big Nasty: "Buck you big pussy, you couldn't come up with the courage to face some jackass named Alexander Slate?"

Buck Evans: "Shoot no Big! I'd hawgtie that dumb sum'bitch and whoop him six days to Sunday!"

BN: "Obviously not, you're all layed out in this bed, crying about your poor little ankle...boo friggen hoo. But no worries Mr. Evans, because your best bud, Big Nasty is here to save the day! I'll go and demolish Slate...hell, I'll wipe his SLATE clean!"

*Big Nasty starts laughing heartily, while Buck looks on unamuzed.*

BN: "Come on Buck, you know that's some funny crap right there."

BE: "Nasty, you're just a corny as ever. I've heard better jokes from a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence!"

BN: "Buck, I don't want to know how that sheep got it's head stuck in the fence...and I sure as hell don't need to know what you did with it!"

BE: "Nasty, not all of us Southern Boys are sheep fuc|<ers ! 'Sides, you should be woryin' about this Slate guy, not joking around with me. You haven't wrestled in almost two years now, and you're defending my title!"

BN: "First of all Buck, don't question my athletic abilities, or my endurance. I'm in better shape than you, I'm tougher than you, and dammit people like me! Second of all, I'm Big F'n NASTY! The name just says it all. Look at this face! Does it look like I'm worried about some punk named Slate? Who is he...Fred Flinstone's boss? I'm not worried about shit! I am worried that you think this is your Title!"

BE: "You dumb sum'bitch! It is my title, and I'm the first ever International Champion! And boy you better believe I'm tough. I'm tougher than a two dollar steak! Don't mess with Buck Evans or...."

*Big Nasty rolls his eyes.*

BN: "Or what? And you're tougher than a two dollar steak, yet you're sitting in this bed with a rolled ankle. Give me a break Buck!"

BE: "Rolled ankle my ass! I damn near snapped the thing off last week!"

BN: "Buck...Buck, let's not do this. We all know you're a pussy. We all know there is nothing international about you. So lets just give it up. It's my title, I'm defending it. You're too hurt to wrestle any more. The rolled ankle is just too much for you to take. You may as well just hang up the boots. I believe you're done!"

*Big Nasty pats down on Bucks ankle which sends him through the roof in pain.*

BE: "Big Nasty! You watch yerself son! That's my damn ankle! I'm done with your schenanigans!"

BN: "WOW! You know how to pronounce something more than two syllables. I'm impressed!"

BE: "DAMMIT NASTY!"

*Buck sits up out of bed, and grabs Big Nasty by the collar of his shirt pulling Big Nasty face to face with Buck.*

BE: "You listen here boy. You retain my title, and you beat the shit out of Slate, or I'm comin after you! I'm from the country, I know how to russle up some trouble for you son, and it comes in the form of a sawed off! I'm serious!"

*Big Nasty pulls himself away from Buck, and in his best attempt at a southern accent...*

BN: "Well shucks Buck, I reckon I'll get in there and whoop him worse than a vat of freshly made cream! But you best realize this ain't no fuck around! I don't play no pussy shit here son!"

BE: "Big Nasty...where're you from?"

BN: "Buck, I'm from Miami, you know this!"

BE: "I thought I smelled bull shit! Son, you better not screw this up. I've worked long and hard to get this title, and I intend on keeping it."

*Big Nasty sits down on the side of Buck's bed, and puts his serious face on.*

BN: "Look buddy, I know you busted your ass to get this title, and I'm here because I'm your friend. I'm going to go out there, and kick the ever loving shit out of Alexander Slate. I'm going to make him wish he never joined EWA. And just for shits and grins, I think I'll hawgtie a sum'bitch, and brand his ass! Just to give the match that Buck Evans charm! But you better believe, if I ever get the chance to come back, and you still have that title, or any title for that means, I'm coming after you! You owe me for this!"

BE: "Shoot Nasty, you know you'd be the first in line to get a title shot from me, but what's most important is that when you GET back, Buck Nasty is going to reign supreme over the tag team division! Just like the old days! I trust you and I know you won't screw this up, that's why I agreed to have you come back in my place! Give 'em hell Nasty! I'll be rootin for you!"

*Big Nasty stands up from the bed, and nods at Buck as he exits the room. The screen fades to black.*