| SNA | Date: Wednesday, 2011/08/31, 11:30 PM | Message # 1 |
 Curtain Jerker
Group: EWA Roster
Messages: 63
Status: Offline
| -The show opens in the parking lot, where a sleek black stretch limousine pulls bearing the license plate 5GU 3ST. The camera lingers for a moment as the engine shuts off, until the arrival from side of shot of the Empire's Publicity Chief, Adam ver Tising, suited and booted in his very best business combination. He has a large, excited grin on his face, one that widens even further when he opens the rear door and lays eyes upon the passenger contained within.-
Ad Ver Tising: He's here, the man of the hour!
The camera drops almost to ground level, deliberately obscuring the identity of the Special Guest as they step out of the car, a pair of black and white converse and the very bottom of a pair of denim blue skinny jeans the only evidence that anyone is even there. We can still see Adam stood alongside the door, as he schmoozes the shit out of his guest, that showbiz grin never wavering.-
Ad Ver Tising: It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, sir; did you have a good journey in?
-There is no verbal answer, although Ver Tising's movements suggest that a nod of the head was given in response to the question.-
Ad Ver Tising: Fantastic! El Pablo is awaiting your arrival as we speak. Are you aware of the "Plan of Action" for tonight?
-The driver of the limousine steps round in front of the camera and closes the door, finally revealing the identity of the Special Guest...'s huge bodyguard, who conveniently stepped out the car at the absolute perfect moment, ensuring the Special Guest remains hidden from view.-
Ad Ver Tising: Excellent! I'll fill you in on the fine print as we walk; follow me, if you will? Timmons: Well, I guess El Pablo's "Insurance Policy" has arrived.
Masters: We really need to start hiring better cameramen, though.. we still don't have a bloody clue who it is!
Timmons: For sure, that little skit did little to answer any of the big rumours that have been circulating.. my guess would be "Red Hot" Lee Boston, the man we saw "mentoring" EP in his new change in attitude over the past week.
Masters: One thing's for sure.. if it IS Lee Boston, then Crimson Blaze is in for a whole world of hurt!
-Adam makes his way around the back of the limousine, as the Special Guest and bodyguard follow, with still no clue being offered as to the Guest's identity. The camera remains in place, lingering on the side of the limo for a few moments before fading to black.- -Cinematic of two masked Roman warriors fighting in an empty colosseum....the first warrior swings his blade and connects with the second's shield....the second warrior reels back but then charges his opponent smashing him through the wall....THE ENTIRE COLOSSEUM STARTS TO CRUMBLE....THE first WARRIOR SWINGS HIS SWORD THE SECOND LEAPS BACK IN SLOW MOTION....more of the colosseum quakes and falls apart....LARGE PIECES LAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLE....the first warrior is struck down....the second warrior raises his sword and delivers the fatal blow....he turns to walk away....suddenly a fire engulfs the colosseum....THE SECOND WARRIOR TURNS TO LOOK....HIS OPPONENT RISES AGAIN HIS BODY CHARRED....HE CHARGES FORWARD AND SWINGS HIS SWORD AT THE SCREEN....-
-'Flameheart' by Two Steps from Hell begins to play....SHOTS OF EWA'S BIGGEST AND BRIGHTEST FLY PAST THE SCREEN....CRIMSON BLAZE LEAPING FROM THE TOP ROPE....XAVIER REID DESTROYING RONNIE MCNEIL....MIKE KING AND LA DIVA GAGA WALKING TO THE RING....SNA SMIRKING ON THE STAGE....EL PABLO BACKFLIP FROM THE TOP ROPE....JAKOB MAYHEM MAKING A THROAT CUTTING MOTION....THE SOUTHERN EXPRESS ON THEIR WAY TO THE RING....BLACK JESUS HOLDING HIS ARMS OUT WIDE....FINALLY JUSTIN MARSHAM WITH THE EWA TITLE IN HIS FIST ON THE TOP ROPE....the shot cuts to the arena....FIREY PYRO EXPLODES FROM THE STAGE AS THE CAMERA BOUNCES AROUND THE ARENA....THE SONG CONTINUES PLAYING AS THE CAMERA MOVES FROM SIGN TO SIGN BEFORE FINALLY SETTLING ON TIM TIMMONS AND WILLIAM MASTERS AT RINGSIDE....-
Timmons: Ladies and gentlemen....THIS IS RISING FROM THE FLAMES!!!!!
-THE FANS AROUND RINGSIDE CHANT: E-W-A!!!! E-W-A!!!!-
Masters: Yeah yeah shut up Timmy....hello LADIES, specfically! I am William Masters....THE KING OF BLING BLING....THE MASTER OF DISASTER....THE GURU OF GYNO....THE....
Timmons: STOP.
Masters: What?! I'm doing my thing!
Timmons: Your 'thing' is annoying.
Masters: That's not what your mom said.
Timmons: Folks.....tonight is a HUGE night.....the feud between Marcellus Payne and Justin Marsham will come to a head....as both men compete in our main event for Justin Marsham's WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!!!!
Masters: It's Black Jesus' time bro....I believe!
Timmons: We'll see....and what about the number one contender's match? El Pablo vs. long time friend and part time tag team partner Crimson Blaze....the winner of this match moves on to face the winner of the main event for a GUARANTEED shot at the winner of the main event.
Masters: I hope they both break their necks and have to get carried out of here on a stretcher.
Timmons: That is DESPICABLE....if you ever said anything like that about me I'd tap you out.
Masters: Whoa, Timmons is touchy tonight! Reworr! Ya know what I wanna see? Xavier Reid shut the mouth of Mike King and the entire country of Mexico!
Timmons: If Xavier Reid makes it into that ring alive he certainly has the chance to do that....these two men have been involved in the most bitter rivalry this company has seen since it's inception.
Masters: Yeah and it's going to culminate in Mexico....what a ripoff! People call Mexico America's beard....FUCK THAT IT'S AMERICA'S TOILET!!!!!
Timmons: They should have sent you down there too.
Masters: Yeah so I could get stabbed with an AIDS knife and left to die in the front yard of someone's adobe hut? I don't think so, asshole.
Timmons: Moving on....up next we've got two of the newest members of the EWA roster going one on one in our opening bout, so let's take it to the ring with the LOVELY Jessica Towers standing by.
Masters: Manning's been pretty busy lately.
Timmons: You're right there. Macgregor debuted on our last Shatter Point, scoring a win over Edward Croft, while all we have seen of Winters is a chilling video.
Masters: Well, if you stop talking we can get him out here and see him in action!
Timmons: I'm not holding anything up by TALKING....
-The shot cuts to Towers in the ring wearing a long, black gown and pearl neckalce....the fans at ringside catcall to her!-
Towers: Ladies and Gentlemen this is your opening contest of Rising from the Flames and is scheduled for one fall...
-She pauses as a massive cheer erupts around the arena, followed by more EWA chants as she continues....-
Towers: Introducing first, making his EWA debut....from San Francisco, California, weighing in tonight at two hundred and fifty pounds..."THE FORSAKEN" DAMIEN WINTERS!!!!!!
- 7 notes in Black by High Contrast plays out as Winters walks through some teal pyro...-
Timmons: Damien Winters.. A man we literally know nothing about.
Masters: We know he wants to kill Macgregor. That's all that matters
-Damien slides under the bottom rope and stands in a crucifix pose as the music fades out.-
Towers: And his opponent. From Glasgow, Scotland... He weighed in at two hundred and fifty four pounds..."THE SINISTER SCOT" WILLIAM MACGREGOR!!!!!!
-The sound of bagpipes fill the arena as Flower of Scotland rings out. Macgregor emerges draped in a Scottish flag and makes a slow, purposeful walk to the ring-
Timmons: And here is the proud Scot. Fresh off that win at ShatterPoint he's looking to make it two for two tonight at Rising from the flames.
Masters: He has to get through that weird... thing... first...
-Macgregor removes the flag and drapes it over the corner before sliding under the bottom rope....-
Timmons: We should have a great opening conte...
-Winters pushes past the referee and kicks Macgregor in the gut as he tries to stand-
Masters: Winters not waiting for the bell to sound going right for the advantage!
-He follows up with a series of stomps to the prone Macgregor! The fans are all over it!-
Timmons: Finally....Winters being told to break for the bell.
-Reluctantly Winters steps back, allowing Macgregor to rise with assistance from the ropes....-
Masters: Happy now Timmy?
Timmons: Very. Now we can start for real.
DING DING DING
-Winters charges in with a high knee that drops Macgregor!-
Timmons: And straight on the offense is Damien Winters!!!!
-Winters covers....-
ONE
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!!!!!
-Winters grabs a headlock as he lifts Macgregor!-
Masters: Technical offense....this man is talented
Timmons: It's a headlock, anyone can headlock.
-The Scot lifts Winters, dropping him with a back body drop. Damien keeps hold, rolling into a side headlock!-
Timmons: Now that is clever. Keeping hold of the move and transitioning after a counter. Credit where it's due to Damien Winters.
-Winters pulls the head up, sinking his teeth into the forehead! THE FANS ARE GETTING LOUD....-
Timmons: Is he biting him?!?
Masters: I think so. That was unorthodox but effective offense!
-The referee steps in, counting for the illegal move!-
One.....two
Masters: Remember, he has until five! Timmons: How long have I been in this business?!
Three.....Four
-Winters breaks, and releases the headlock as he lifts Macgregor and whips him to the ropes-
Timmons: Irish whip!
-Macgregor charges back with a hard shoulder tackle that sends Winters rolling backwards from the ring!-
Masters: Ouch. Straight to the arena floor!
Timmons: Impressive show of strength right there from "The Sinister Scot"!
-Winters rises and gestures for his opponent to step backwards before he will enter the ring.-
One....Two....
Timmons: Correctly asking for some space here.
Masters: He's afraid that Macgregor will get him back for earlier!
-Winters steps forward and looks to enter, but steps back as Macgregor walks over...-
Masters: The space not observed, so Winters staying out of the way
Three... Four...
-Macgregor steps back as Winters dives in quickly under the bottom rope!-
Timmons: And he's in. Maybe we can get back to wrestling now?
-As Winters gets to his feet his is immediately speared back off them!!!!-
Masters: NASTY spear there. Could it be the win this early?!
ONE
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!!!!
Timmons: Almost three there. Winters gets his arm up just in time!!!!
-Macgregor rises, throwing Winters head between his legs and lifting him vertically!-
Masters: Piledriver position. These can mash brains. Just ask my broadcast partner!
Timmons: Yeah. Wait...
-Macgregor drops to seated, driving his opponents head hard into the matting!-
Masters: Piledriver connects!!!!!
-The now limp body of Winters bounces slightly as it falls flat onto the mat. The Scot gets up quickly and follows up with a leg drop! THE FANS ARE REALLY INTO IT!!!!-
Timmons: Move after move focused on the skull of Damien Winters....if your opponent is out cold, he can't fight back!
Masters: Is that how you get laid?!
-William covers-
ONE
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TWO
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THR-KICKOUT!!!!!
Masters: Somehow Damien Winters throws his whole body off the mat to kickout!
Timmons: That may just have been a spasm back to consciousnesses.
-Macgregor stands, pulling Winters up before stumbling backwards....THE FANS ARE ALL OVER WINTERS....-
Timmons: Thumb to the eye!!! How did the referee not see that?
Masters: You know what our officials are like. Blind as bats!
-William stumbles back forwards, his arm getting trapped as Damien pulls him down into a crossface!-
Timmons: The piece of paper I've just been handed tells me he calls that Clockwork.
Masters: Where is my information? How come you get the details first?
-Winters wrenches on the hold causing Macgregor to scream out in pain!-
Masters: That looks painful. Tapping might be the best option here, guy!
Timmons: Unless he can reach the ropes or find an escape route.....MACGREGOR JUST MAY HAVE TO....
-Macgregor shuffles backwards quickly, his feet wrapping around the ropes!!!-
One....Two....
Timmons: Rope break. Will Winters release?
Three....Four....
-Winters pulls hard!!!! THE FANS HATE HIM!!!!-
Five...
-At the very last second he releases. Macgregor immediately grabs his neck in pain!-
Masters: A purely VICIOUS man is Damien Winters. I think I'm going to enjoy him.
Timmons: He looks like he'd enjoy you! Masters: ....Ew, dude.
-Winters lifts his opponent to a front facelock before DDTing him hard onto the top of his head!-
Timmons: And a DDT there. Not letting up, and both men targeting the others head!
-Winters covers, hooking both legs!-
ONE
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TWO
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TH-KICKOUT!
-William pushes Winters clean off himself!!!-
Masters: Still not enough. Both men want to impress Manning so early in their EWA career.
-Rising up, Macgregor punches out at Winters, before quickly snapping off a DDT of his own-
Timmons: Matches him! DDT for a DDT!!!!
-Cover-
ONE
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TWO
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SHOULDER UP!!!!!!
-Macgregor headbutts his still-prone opponent and then flops down again!!!-
Timmons: Glasgow kiss! Tasted quite a few of them in my travels.
ONE
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!!!
Masters: Another kickout from Winters. Both men dazed from that headbutt...that's kind of a stupid move.
Timmons: You do what you have to in that ring Masters....a headbutt is just as legal as anything else even if it will scramble your own brains.
-The Sinister Scot pulls up his opponent and whips him!-
Timmons: Whip to the ropes....
-Winters spins, plants and does a whip of his own!-
Masters: Countered!
-Macgregor rebounds from the ropes right into a judo kick to the gut!-
Masters: Indecent exposure!
Timmons: He should put that away.
-Winters runs at the ropes, leaping into a springboard backflip!!!!-
Timmons: Nice flip there. Could this be it?
-Winters lands into a reverse-front facelock!-
Masters: Winter Wonderland!!!! I want presents.
-Macgregor twists out, lifting his opponent into a vertical suplex position and holding him overhead!!!!-
Timmons: What a switch into the Sinister Urge....AND MACGREGOR HITS IT!!!! HERE'S THE COVER....REF IN POSITION..... ONE
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TWO
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THREE!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE LOUD AND SPLIT!!!!!-
Timmons: Despite the underhanded tactics of Damien Winters.....THE SINISTER SCOT IS NOW TWO FOR TWO IN EWA.
Masters: Man usually I'd open up on one of these guys but....they both looked solid tonight. I'll save all my bullshit for later!
Timmons: You do that.....folks we're just getting started at Rising from the flames....DON'T MOVE JUST YET.....MORE EWA ACTION IS UP NEXT!!!!!Added (2011/08/31, 11:22 PM)
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-MacGregor takes his arm away from the ref and holds the back of his neck as he drops and rolls out of the ring.....the fans are still loud as the shot cuts....Interviewer Extraordinaire Jenny Jacobs has taken up position in the Empire's "Interview Zone", microphone in hand. A chorus of boos begins to circulate around the arena.. although they are not specifically targetted at Jenny. Rather, they are being aimed in the direction of her guest, smiling smugly from behind a black and white, "samurai-style" wrestling mask, a midnight green Philadelphia Eagles jersey worn proudly over his upper body.-
Jacobs: Ladies and gentlemen, I am joined at this time by a man who, by the end of the night, may very well be the Number One Contender to EWA's World Heavyweight Championship.. "The Five Star Superstar", El Pablo! Pablo, ho-
Female voice: Ahem...
-Jenny's eyes dart to the side, as EP's girlfriend Cristal steps out from behind her man, arms folded with a scowl on her face. Jenny just rolls her eyes...-
Jacobs: Oh.. and Cristal or whatever... Anyway, Pablo, how are you feeling ahead of what is surely one of the biggest matches of your recent career tonight?
El Pablo: Jenny.. I feel like DeSean Jackson tearing down the field of the New Meadowlands towards the endzone.. I feel like a mighty eagle, preparing himself to soar effortlessly and majestically above the Giants of the EWA roster.. and various other similes designed to get the bargain-bucket yokels in the front row mooing like a cattle drive!
And moo they do.. if "moo" started with the letter B.
El Pablo: Jenny, tonight is the night that The Five Star Superstar FINALLY gets his name back in that World Heavyweight Championship picture... Tonight is the night that the name El Pablo will ONCE AGAIN become synonymous with professional wrestling excellence... And Jenny, tonight is the night that people will FINALLY realise that Crimson Blaze is nothing more than a jumped-up, pumped-up wannabe, who has been punching above his weight for far, FAR too long now!
Jenny.. tonight is the night that the Kreator of Kodes.. suffers a final, eternal silence of his own... figuratively speaking, of course!
-More abuse rings out from the rafters, the fans obviously taking none-too-kindly to EP's comments regarding his opponent for the evening.-
Jacobs: Okay, some real fighting talk there Pablo.. I'm impressed!
El Pablo: Oh, thanks!
JACOBS: I do have one other question, though...
El Pablo: Shoot.
El Pablo: Where's your pal Lee Boston? Isn't he your "insurance policy" for tonight.. and didn't we see his car pull up outside here earlier?
-EP and Cristal just stare at Jenny will a look of utter confusion.-
El Pablo: Lee Boston!? Hell no he's not my insurance policy!
Jacobs: ..But we saw you two discussing it in your promo this week; that wasn't the formulation of a plan on your parts?
El Pablo: No, haha! He was just showing me the way into a transformation of philosophy! His involvement with the Five Star Superstar begins and ends in that gymnasium, and you can quote me on that.
Jacobs: Okay.. so, who is it? The people wanna know.. WHO is your Insurance Policy?
-The wry smile spreads across EP's face once again, as he stares dead into Jenny's eyes for a few moments. Then, he slowly turns away, glancing off-screen over his shoulder-.
El Pablo: ..This guy.
-Jenny's eyes widen, and her draw drops into utter dumbfoundedness, as Canadian Pop Sensation Justin Bieber steps into shot, the raised hood of his gray jacket partially covering his neatly-coiffured hairstyle. He places his hands in the pockets of his jacket, as untold abuse now starts raining down from the EWA fans.-
Bieber: 'Sup Pablo.
-Bieber and Pablo share a handshake and shoulder bump, as Jenny continues to look on, stunned.-
El Pablo: What up, Beebster!
Jacobs: ..HIM!?
El Pablo: Oh yes!
Jacobs: ..Really.. THIS guy.. HIM!?
Bieber: Wassup, baby? You don't think I can get out in that ring and throw down?
Jacobs: I..
Bieber: I've been shot 12 times, lady! Right in the chest!
Jacobs: ..on CSI.
Bieber: Those fake shots hurt, man.. don't let 'em tell you otherwise.
El Pablo: Don't mind her, Justin, she's used to having her chest sprayed with a very different kind of ammunition.
Jacobs: Are you s-
El Pablo: Oh relax, Jenny, I know.. new leaf, etcetera!
Jenny sighs.
Jacobs: So.. erm.. Justin Bieber... REALLY!?
-EP shrugs.-
El Pablo: Really really!
El Pablo: Wow.. well.. Justin.. what in the name of all that is holy brings you to a place like this!?
-Justin smirks.-
Bieber: Well, ordinarily I wouldn't be allowed to appear publicly in a place like this.. markets and management and all that jazz. However.. since Mike King decided to turn into a whiney little doodie-head and start crying about violence and disqualifications and wah and blah.. my management decided that there really wasn't any reason NOT to allow me to appear here anymore!
-Justin's words have barely been audible over the noise coming from the fans in the arena, and that noise only grows and intensifies when he becomes silent once again.-
El Pablo: Haha! You hear that, Jenny? "Doodie-head!" Isn't he precious?
-Jenny just rolls her eyes.-
Jacobs: Eurgh...
El Pablo: Sorry Jenny, but we've gotta go prepare for tonight... Guys, purity rings on three; ONE! TWO! THREE!
-EP, Cristal and Justin Bieber place their right fists together.. twist..-
El Pablo: YAYYY!!
Cristal: YAYYY!!
Bieber: YAYYY!!
-..and break, before bounding off-screen, leaving Jenny to soak up and shower in the hostility of the EWA fans alone, as the screen cuts back to the commentary desk.-
Mastesr: I don't believe it... El Pablo's Insurance Policy is.. Justin Bieber!?
Timmons: I don't know what the Five Star Superstar's thinking is behind this.. Bieber's no wrestler... I know Blaze is well into his hip-hop.. maybe some kind of mind game on that front?
Masters: I haven't got a clue.. I just hope the little runt doesn't start singing!
Timmons: You're just jealous. But right now it's time to talk about something else....the OUTLAW CHAMPIONSHIP POLE....ON A POLE MATCH.
Masters: Ah, the former International Title. Buck added his own twist on things with the name change.
Timmons: And it came at the annoyance of our general manager Frankie Manning. His opponent tonight is Weezle, a man known for carrying an iron pole with him at all times.
Masters: That's why the pole is on a pole here tonight. Only the man who pulls it down can use it, anything else will result in a disqualification.
Timmons: All other standard rules apply, so it should be a game of who can get that pole first.
Masters: You used to play that a lot in college, right?
-The camera cuts to a tight shot of the pole hanging from the corner before switching to a view of Jessica Towers stood in the ring....-
Towers: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is an Iron Pole on a Pole match for the EWA OUTLAW CHAMPIONSHIP.....
-A chant of International goes out, the fans still not fully behind the change!!!!-
Towers: Introducing first.. The challenger, from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds... WEEZLE!!!!!!!
-As The Everlasting Glaze plays out, Weezle strolls onto the stage. He points at the pole hanging from the ring and slides in, his eyes glued on it!-
Timmons: Weezle wants his weapon back.
Masters: Well he did pay for that himself. I saw it in his bag! Timmons: Why are you looking through the talents belongings?!
-Weezle climbs and checks the pole before stepping into the ring.-
Towers: And his opponent.. From Alogma, Mississippi.. Weighing in at two hundred and seventy five pounds... The EWA Outlaw Champion.. BUCK EVANS!!!!!
-The beginning of Nickel Sized Hail causes a loud sea of boos to fill the Colusseum as Buck Evans comes out with the title over his shoulder!-
Timmons: There it is, the Outlaw Title. A belt that has caused a stir amongst many who still believe that it should be the International belt.
Masters: But Manning left a loophole in not stating the title's name on the contracts. Buck closed that and now it's the Outlaw Title.....SORRY, BABIES.
-Buck climbs into the ring and hands the belt to the official, who proceeds to show it to Weezle before holding it aloft....Weezle sneers and ducks down low.-
Timmons: Well, we'll soon see as the belt is passed out of the ring....there's the signal....AND WE'RE OFF IN THIS CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE MATCH.....
DING DING DING
-Immediately Weezle charges up the turnbuckle, scrambling for the pole!-
Masters: Wasting no time Weezle goes for that iron bar. He wants to deal out pain and suffering!
-Buck steps across and pulls Weezle down before starting a climb of his own!-
Timmons: And Buck isn't waiting around either. Remember, only the man who pulls it down will get use of the only legal weapon in this match. Masters: Yeah I got it Timmons....I don't smoke THAT much pot.
-Weezle pulls Buck down and tries to climb again!-
Timmons: This is just a scramble. Neither man cares about fighting, they just want that pipe.
-Evans steps under Weezle, lifting him to powerbomb position on his shoulders....THE FANS RISE.....-
Masters: I think that's about to change!!!!
-Stepping forwards a couple of paces Buck drops down sitout-powerbomb style!!!! THE FANS START TO GET ON EVANS....-
Timmons: Hard powerbomb, you could see Weezle's neck snap back upon impact....
Masters: Great way to cause whiplash and put someone out for a while.
-Evans places his legs over the arms, forming a pin-cover!-
ONE
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!!!
Timmons: Early two count from Buck. That belt might be retained!
-Buck rises quickly and stomps on Weezle before making his way to the corner.-
Masters: Looks like the pipe is still on Buck's radar!
-Evans climbs up the first two turnbuckles and reaches up!-
Timmons: He's not high enough there. You've got to get onto the top turnbuckle to reach the latch!
-Buck rebalances then begins to climb higher....SOME OF THE FANS COME TO THEIR FEET.....-
Masters: Weezle's back on his feet....EVANS DOESN'T SEE HIM....
-Weezle charges over and shoves Buck from the top to the arena floor, the champion landing with a resounding thud.....THE FANS GROAN IN SYMPATHY....BUT THEN CHEER WILDLY FOR WEEZLE!!!!!!-
Timmons: Weezle just sent Buck Evans from the top to the floor! That's a 7 foot drop, straight onto thin padding!!!
Masters: Weezle's definitely got the advantage now!
-Buck remains motionless as Weezle's vision alternates between Evans and the pole-
Timmons: Seems like he's torn between the win and the weapon....
Masters: WEAPON! Always weapon!!!!!
-Weezle starts to climb, but then drops and slides out of the ring, lifting the lifeless body of the champion and forcing it into the ring-
Timmons: He's gone with win, somehow lifting the large frame of his opponent into the ring.... Masters: Well it's not like Weezle's a fifth grader Timmons....he's a WRESTLER!!!!!
-Weezle follows Buck in and immediately covers!!!!!-
ONE
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TWO
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TH-KICKOUT!!!!!
Masters: YES! The Outlaw kicks out!!!!
-Weezle rises in frustration, looking to the pole again!-
Timmons: Weezle eyeing that pole again....it's hanging there just waiting to be grabbed....
Masters: Timmons....someone needs to do a dub of your commentary and put it on youtube. Timmons: What are you even talking about?!
-Weezle looks back to an almost standing Evans, grabbing him in a front facelock and throwing the arm over his neck.....-
Masters: Setting up for a suplex, which would work more on that already-damaged back!
-Weezle attempts to lift Buck, but fails as the bigger man plants himself on a firm base!-
Timmons: No luck as the weight difference comes in!!!!
-Buck lifts his opponent vertically, holding him in place!-
Masters: That'll drain the blood to your head, making the impact feel worse. He might put Weezle down for long enough to get that pipe!!!!
-Buck drops his opponent into a brainbuster, the body of Weezle bouncing on impact before curling into foetal position.....THE FANS ARE ALL OVER BUCK AGAIN....AND THERE'S A SMATTERING OF 'INTERNATIONAL' CHANTS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.....-
Timmons: That might have taken Weezle out. Only minutes into this contest but both men have gone for the big guns. That Outlaw title means THAT much to both men!!!!
Masters: It's a title. And titles mean money, girls and power.
Timmons: But Buck is married...
Masters: Maybe Karen joins in?
-Buck slowly walks to the corner, climbing each of the three turnbuckles with purpose....-
Timmons: Wasting no time here, Buck straight to the pole on the pole!
Masters: Because he's not stupid. He knows that whoever gets it will win....AND THAT'S GONNA BE BUCK EVANS!!!!!
-Reaching the top Evans catches his balance, his hand rising towards the latch on the chain to the pole!-
Masters: He's there, all he has to do is unlatch that fastening and he'll have the pole!
Timmons: Let's hope he knows how to open it, if he struggles we may have an awkward commentary situation while he fumbles with it....
Masters: Again with your commentary. And I don't think I could put up with you repeating 'he might have it here'.
-Buck gets both hands on the pole as a third hand joins in the unlatching....THE FANS ARE BUZZING....AND THEN THEY GET LOUD....-
Timmons: WAIT!! Weezle is up there too! Like a shot he leapt to the top and got his hand in!!!!
-The two fight over the latch, elbows and fists flying while one hand per man fumbles at the fastening!-
Masters: Risky top-rope fight. Who's gonna grab it?!
-The two continue to battle, both swaying as the rope shakes! Weezle looks like he is about to fall, but he pulls himself onto the back of Buck in a position resembling a piggy-back!-
Masters: Hanging on by all means necessary!
-The pole comes loose, both men having their hands around it!-
Timmons: So what now?
Masters: They're slipping!!!
-The two fall backwards, the pole flying out of their hands and to the other side of the ring as they land hard next to each other. Both men writhe in pain as the referee looks confused before pressing his finger to his ear!-
Masters: OH MY GOD!!!
-A moment of silence covers the announce team as Buck and Weezle lay clutching their bodies!-
Timmons: Wait, it seems we're getting the same broadcast as our official... Manning had a plan for this situation...whoever reaches that pole first gets to use it!!!
Masters: Look here....Weezle is moving.....WEEZLE CRAWLING FOR THAT PIPE.....
Timmons: Evans stirring again as well....sees Weezle....AND BUCK GRABS THAT ANKLE BUT WEEZLE IS STILL CRAWLING.....
Masters: C'MON BUCK!!!!!
Timmons: WEEZLE WITH HIS FINGERS OUTSTRETCHED....HE TURNS AND....BOOTS BUCK EVANS IN THE FACE AND BUCK EVANS RELEASES....WEEZLE HAS THE PIPE....WEEZLE HAS IT BOTH MEN UP TO THEIR FEET....BUCK CHARGES IN.....WEEZLE SIDESTEPS AND....CLONKS HIM ON THE HEAD WITH IT!!!!!
-THE FANS ROAR AS BUCK WOBBLES....WEEZLE HITS HIM IN THE GUTS TO DOUBLE HIM UP....AND THEN ONCE BEHIND THE KNEE....BUCK FINALLY GOES DOWN AND WEEZLE DROPS ON TOP OF HIM.....-
ONE
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TWO
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THREE!!!!!!!
DING DING DING
Timmons: WEEZLE HAS DONE IT....WEEZLE IS THE NEW EWA OUTLAW CHAMPION!!!!
Masters: He cheated! He used a weapon!
Timmons: ....The entire match was bas- no. No I'm not doing this with you. HEY WHAT THE HELL.....
-THE FANS ARE LOUD FOR WEEZLE....BUT TURN HOT AS WILLIAM MACGREGOR SUDDENLY SPRINTS DOWN TO THE RING!!!!!-
Timmons: What is MacGregor doing out here....he....HE JUST SHOVED THE TIMEKEEPER OVER AND TOOK THE OUTLAW TITLE....AND NOW WILLIAM MACGREGOR WITH THAT BELT CLUTCHED AGAINST HIS CHEST IS GETTING OUT OF DODGE....HE JUST STOLE IT....WILLIAM MACGREGOR JUST STOLE THE OUTLAW CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
Masters: HA....now THAT's an outlaw!!!!
-THE FANS ARE PISSED!!!!! WEEZLE RIPS HIS ARM AWAY FROM THE REFEREE AND WATCHES IN CONFUSION....FINALLY HE BOLTS THROUGH THE ROPES AND CHARGES AFTER MACGREGOR UP THE RAMP AS THE SINISTER SCOT DISAPPEARS THROUGH THE CURTAIN.....-
Timmons: MacGregor had NO BUSINESS BEING OUT HERE.....
Masters: I told you Timmons....that was an outlaw move.....THAT IS WHAT AN OUTLAW WOULD DO....MACGREGOR DESERVES THAT BELT.
Timmons: If he had won it in an actual match I'd agree with you....but you're an idiot, so I don't. Folks.....the Outlaw title has been STOLEN.....Weezle is giving chase....and we'll keep you updated throughout the night on this situation! Added (2011/08/31, 11:23 PM)
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-The shot cuts to the back again.....THE FANS IN THE ARENA BLOW UP AS JUSTIN MARSHAM IS SHOWN ENTERING THROUGH A SIDE DOOR WITH HIS BAG SLUNG OVER HIS SHOULDER ALL BUSINESS....the camera follows him down the hallway before cutting away....to 'Black Jesus' Marcellus Payne doing some squats.....THE FANS TURN INTO HATRED.....BLACK JESUS SMILES BIG AND LAUGHS LOUD AS HE CONTINUES WORKING OUT.....HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING AND HOLDS HIS ARMS OUT WIDE FOR A MOMENT BEFORE DROPPING BACK DOWN....-
Timmons: And there they are....the two men that will battle it out in our main event for the richest prize in the game!
Masters: Jesus WILL rise from the flames....MARK MY WORDS TIMMONS.
Timmons: You're so adamant about that.....have you got money on the guy?
Masters: WELL THAT'S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS TIMMY.
Timmons: Right....in any event, up next is a match that I've personally been waiting to see since the moment it was announced....."Showtime" Nick Alexander will take on Mortius, who has agreed to a one time appearance to take care of SNA.
Masters: Yeah but it's bullshit because not only does SNA have to deal with Mortius....but he's gotta watch his back outside the ring too!!!!!
Timmons: You're damn right he does! The extreme lumberjacks at ringside are INNOCENT PERSONNEL that SNA decided on a whim to brutally assault....and I say whatever they give to him, he's got it coming.
-THE FANS IN THE ARENA SUDDENLY RISE AND GIVE IT UP BIG TIME AS JARRED DANIELS JESS STARR AND MAXWELL FABIAN APPEAR ON THE RAMP....ALL THREE ARE WIELDING KENDO STICKS!!!!!-
Masters: This isn't fair....SNA DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS....
Timmons: SNA deserves to have his fucking skull caved in....let's go to Jessica in the ring.
Towers: LADIES AND GENETLEMEN, THE F-
-JESSICA IS CUT OFF AS 'WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS' BY AC/DC PLAYS....THE FANS IN THE ARENA ERUPT IN A NEGATIVE REACTION....SNA STEPS OUT ON THE STAGE WITH A BEER BOTTLE IN HIS HAND....HE LOOKS OUT AT THE FANS AND LIFTS A MIDDLE FINGER WHILE TILTING HIS HEAD BACK AND FINISHING WHAT'S LEFT OF THE BEER....HE SMASHES THE BOTTLE ON THE STAGE AND STARTS TO WALK DOWN THE RAMP, MOUTH MOVING A MILE A MINUTE AT THE FANS....he stops to swat a sign that reads 'SNA is SHIT' out of someone's hand....as he rounds the ring to take the steps up inside he stares at the lumberjacks on the other side....they return the look and hold their ground....-
Timmons: The definition of asshole right there.
Masters: HAH. Yeah, keep saying that stuff. When Nick finds out he's gonna cream you and then I'll be in the booth by myself! RATINGS BOOST!
-SNA leans back in a corner casually staring at the entryway as his music fades out....-
Towers: ....AND "SHOWTIME" NICK ALEXANDER'S OPPONENT....HE'S MAKING A ONE TIME ONLY APPEARANCE HERE IN EWA....this is....MORTIUS!!!!!!
-'Tearing the Veil from Grace' by Cradle of filth hits....THE FANS IN THE ARENA BLOW UP BIG TIME AS THE MORTIUS MAKES HIS WAY OUT ON TO THE STAGE SLOWLY.....HE DOESN'T REACT TO THE FANS AS HE STRIDES DOWN THE RAMP, HIS EYES ON THE RING....SNA BENDS OVER WITH HIS HANDS ON HIS KNEES AND LOOKS RIGHT BACK AT HIM....Mort stops in front of the ring and reaches up to the middle rope to pull himself up....SNA leaves his corner and backs into the one to his left.....Mort climbs over the ropes....THE FANS ARE BUZZING....-
DING DING DING
Timmons: And we're off immediately.....Mortius circling.....SNA circling out of the way with each step.....THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.....
Masters: Yeah it is....BECAUSE SNA IS GOING TO SEND THIS RELIC RIGHT BACK TO THE TEMPLE OF DOOM....
Timmons: We'll see....SNA still striding out of Mortius' way here....SNA obviously the quicker of the two but Mortius is keeping up.....and....NOW BACKING SNA NEAR THAT CORNER....WHICH SNA QUICKLY DARTS OUT OF THE WAY SENDING A KICK TO MORTIUS' LEG AS HE DOES....
Masters: SNA's too smart for this....it's gonna hit and run until he knocks Mortius down for the count.
Timmons: Mortius unaffected by that strike....SNA still bounding around the ring....QUICKLY TURNS AND LOOKS AT THE LUMBERJACKS....Daniels Starr and Fabian all seperating and taking a different side of the ring.....SNA is surrounded here.....
Masters: LOOK OUT.....MORTIUS CHARGING UNEXPECTEDLY....CAUGHT SNA OFF GUARD AND NOW HE'S LIGHTING NICK UP WITH RIGHT HANDS!!!!!
- THE FANS LOVE IT!!!!! SNA ROCKS AND REELS WITH EACH PUNCH....MORTIUS BACKS HIM INTO THE CORNER....-
Timmons: SNA DISTRACTED BY THE GOINGS ON OUTSIDE OF THE RING....MORTIUS HAS HIM IN THE CORNER NOW....HE GRABS SNA BY THE ARM AND WHIPS HIM....SNA SENT STRAIGHT INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER.....wait.....SNA USING THAT MOMENTUM TO SLIDE OUT OF THE RING INSTEAD.....AND HERE COMES JARRED DANIELS!!!!!
Masters: Fuck man....SNA UNABLE TO TURN OFF THAT RING INSTINCT JUST MADE A MISTAKE....AND HE QUICKLY SLIDES BACK IN JUST AS DANIELS' WALKS OVER WITH THAT KENDO STICK.....OH STOP ACTING LIKE YOU WANT SOME JARRED.....
Timmons: He does....they ALL do after what SNA has done....Mortius is stalking Nick once again here....SNA keeping his distance talking shit to the lumberjacks....SNA is cornered and he knows it.
Masters: No shit....AND THERE'S MORTIUS LUNGING AT HIM AGAIN.....BUT SNA DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!
Timmons: MORTIUS SPINS AROUND....AND SNA IS ON HIM WITH RAPID FIRE RIGHT HANDS....SNA BACKING MORTIUS INTO THAT CORNER NOW.....MORTIUS LIFTS HIS ARMS.....GRABS AHOLD OF SNA'S FACE AND SHOVES HIM BACK ACROSS THE RING!!!!!
Masters: SNA rolling backwards there.....RIGHT BACK UP TO HIS FEET HE CHARGES IN AND LEAPS....NO!!!!!
Timmons: MORTIUS CAUGHT HIM....MORTIUS CAUGHT SNA.....NOW LIFTING THE SELF PROCLAIMED GOD OF WRESTLING UP HIGH....MORTIUS DROPS HIM THROAT FIRST OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!
-THE FANS DIG IT!!!!! THEY CHANT: MORT!!!! MORT!!!! MORT!!!!-
Masters: OH THAT WAS DIRTY!!!! SNA holding his throat here....it looks like he's having trouble breathing!
Timmons: MORTIUS DOESN'T CARE....MORT GRIPS THE BACK OF SNA'S PANTS AND SENDS HIM SAILING OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!
Masters: BUT SNA HELD ON!!!! SNA GRABBED THE ROPES AND HE'S DANGLING THERE.....JESS STARR SWIPES AT HIM WITH THE CANE....BUT SNA LIFTS HIS LEGS UP OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!
Timmons: SNA skinning the cat here....narrowly avoided getting tanned by that cane....you can't deny SNA's athleticism and I never have.....it's the person that I can't stand.
-SNA lands on his feet in the ring and turns around.....BUT AFTER ALL THAT MORTIUS CLOTHESLINES HIM CLEAR OVER THE TOP ROPE ANYWAY AND HIS BODY THUDS ON THE PADDING!!!! THE FANS EXPLODE AS ALL THREE LUMBERJACKS CONVERGE AND START BEATING HIM WITH THEIR WEAPONS!!!!-
Timmons: Good LORD....SNA GETTING THE BEATING OF A LIFETIME OUTSIDE THE RING NOW.....THESE THREE ARE GETTING THEIR PAYBACK FOR MONTHS OF SUFFERING.....AND SNA IS HOWLING IN PAIN TRYING TO GET TO HIS FEET....BUT JESS STARR PUTS HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN SMASHING THAT KENDO STICK OVER HIS SKULL!!!!!
Masters: YEAH KEEP ON CHEERING YOU BIASED FUCKER.....SNA GETTING THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM....FINALLY STANDS UP AND SHOVES FABIAN AND DANIELS OFF....
Timmons: JUST AS MORTIUS REACHES OVER THE ROPES AND GRABS NICK BY THE HAIR....LIFTING HIM RIGHT BACK UP ON TO THE APRON....THE STRENGTH OF MORTIUS....MIGHT BE UNPARALLELED!!!!!
Masters: OH SHUT UP....Mort holding SNA by the HAIR, a HIGHLY ILLEGAL MOVE MIGHT I ADD....whoa....SNA WITH A DOUBLE EYE FINGER POKE TO BREAK THAT UP....
Timmons: That's even worse....Mortius stumbling forward....RIGHT INTO A FOREARM FROM SNA....MORTIUS BACKS OFF HOLDING HIS EYES....SNA RE-GRIPPING THE TOP ROPE AND LEANING BACK.....SNA LEAPS TO THE TOP ROPE AND JUMPS....CLOTHESLING MORTIUS TO THE MAT!!!!!
-THE FANS DON'T LIKE THAT!!!!-
Masters: SNA cut the redwood down! And now he's charging the corner.....LEAPING UP AGAIN THIS TIME NO HANDS....CRASHES DOWN ON THE ROPES WITH HIS LEGS SPLIT AND FLIPS BACKWARDS LANDING RIGHT ON MORTIUS!!!!
Timmons: That certainly was an incredible split-legged moonsault....AGAIN THERE IS NO KNOCKING SNA'S ABILITY.....HERE IS WITH THE PREMATURE COVER ON MORTIUS.....
ONE
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TWO- MORTIUS KICKS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE BACK INTO IT!!!!!-
Timmons: I could have told SNA that that wasn't going to keep Mortius down.....but SNA is right back on him attempting to drag Mortius to his feet....and Mortius is up....SNA....pushes back and JUMPS GRABBING MORTIUS AROUND THE HEAD....SNA LOOKING FOR THAT DOUBLE KNEE FACEBUSTER HE CALLS THE ROCKJAW BUT MORTIUS COUNTERED....AND HE'S LIFTING SNA UP HIGH....
Masters: FUCK....SNA WITH NOWHERE TO GO.....AND MORTIUS OBLITERATES HIM ON THE MAT WITH A POWERBOMB!!!!!
-THE FANS LOVE IT!!!!!-
Masters: SNA is laid out....this sucks!!!!
Timmons: This is justice!!!!
Masters: Dude you sound as bad as me right now.....Mortius....not bothering to cover even though that knocked the wind right out of Showtime....Mortius instead ripping nick up OVER HIS SHOULDER.....HE TURNS AND CHARGES....FLINGING NICK OVER HIMSELF LIKE A LAWN DART!!!!!
Timmons: And SNA bounces right off the top turnbuckle with his FACE.....SNA SPINS AND DROPS DOWN TO HIS ASS....MORTIUS THERE.....CHARGES IN WITH A KNEE THAT CRUSHES NICK ALEXANDER IN THE CORNER!!!!
-THE FANS LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!!-
Masters: I don't LIKE THIS.....SNA IS....WELL HE'S GOD....
Timmons: Don't encourage him....SNA IS A TALENTED PERFORMER I'LL GIVE YOU THAT....BUT MORTIUS IS IN CONTROL!!!!! And now he's dragging Nick up out of the corner....SNA on dream street....Mortius kicks him low AND WRAPS HIM UP AGAIN....SNA BENT OVER....GETS RIPPED UP INTO THE AIR.....
Masters: NOPE....SNA HOLDS ON AND FLINGS HIMSELF OVER MORTIUS....ARM DRAGGING THE BIG BASTARD RIGHT DOWN TO THE MAT....AND NOW SNA IS HOOKING UP A HEADSCISSORS AROUND THE HEAD OF MORTIUS!!!! WHO'S IN CONTROL NOW?!?
Timmons: SNA appears to be....BUT MORTIUS IS FIGHTING....SNA SLAMS A FIST INTO HIS HEAD....AND ANOTHER ONE....SNA....WITH RAPID FIRE SHOTS NOW TRYING TO SLOW THE GIANT MORTIUS.....
Masters: Shit shit....Mortius rolling over....SNA still holding on....and....WHAT....MORTIUS IS STANDING UP....MORTIUS STANDING UP EVER SO SLOWLY....SNA STILL ON HIS HEAD....I DON'T....THERE WE GO SNA JUST OPENED HIS EYES AND....HE REALIZES HE'S FUCKED....
Timmons: SNA'S EYES ARE LIKE DINNER PLATES.....AND MORTIUS....FALLS BACKWARDS SPLATTERING SNA ALL OVER THE MAT!!!!!
-THE FANS GIVE IT UP BIG TIME FOR MORTIUS!!!!!-
Masters: No matter what SNA does....HE CAN'T KEEP MORTIUS DOWN....
Timmons: Not many can....AND THAT IS WHY FRANKIE MANNING SIGNED HIM FOR THIS ONE NIGHT ONLY APPEARANCE.....TO TEACH SNA A LESSON!!!!
Masters: Well I think he's got it....SNA UP ON ALL FOURS HE'S COMPLETELY OUT OF IT....MORTIUS HELPING HIM THE REST OF THE WAY HOOKS SNA UP IN A HEADLOCK....AND STARTS SLAMMING KNEES INTO HIS RIBS!!!!!
Timmons: SNA is getting PUMMELED.....EACH OF THOSE KNEE SHOTS JUST CAVING IN SNA'S SIDES....AND....MORTIUS FINISHES UP....WITH A HUGE HIP TOSS!!!! That....IS THE MORTAL COMBO!!!!!
-SNA crawls toward the ropes.....JESS STARR SWINGS THE RING BELL AT HIM BUT HE PUSHES HIMSELF OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME!!!!!-
Timmons: HA HA HA....LOOK OUT NICK!!!!
Masters: Okay you are enjoying this WAY TOO MUCH....man they all have new stuff now.....DANIELS HAS A CHAIR....JESS HAS THAT STUPID BELL....Fabian still has his kendo stick but it's all fucked up....this is STUPID.
Timmons: Right....anyway Mortius back on SNA here.....SNA has been getting his ASS KICKED like never before....and....Mortius lifts him back up.....AND DRAGS HIM TOWARD THE CORNER....
Masters: BUT SNA SHOVES HIM OFF AND KICKS MORTIUS LOW WHEN HE TURNS BACK AROUND!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE ALL OVER THAT....THE REFEREE CLEARLY ADMONISHES SNA....NICK FLIPS HIM OFF AND GRABS MORT BY THE HAIR, PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS OTHER HAND!!!!!-
Timmons: THAT WAS BLATANT!!!!!
Masters: That was CUNNING....SNA TAKING A BIT OF A BREATHER HERE AS MORT HOLDS HIS BA- STOMACH.....AND....SNA'S FACE....LOOK AT HIM HE'S PISSED....
Timmons: SNA's face twisting in rage.....HE SUDDENLY EXPLODES WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF MORTIUS SENDING HIM CLEAN OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!
-THAT SHOCKS THE FANS!!!! MORTIUS LANDS ON THE OUTSIDE....THE LUMBERJACKS COME CLOSER BUT DON'T TOUCH HIM....-
Masters: OH, YEAH, GREAT LUMBERJACKING....
Timmons: SNA PULLING OUT THE BIG GUNS HERE....AND RIGHT HE SHOULD....MORTIUS IS SITTING UP NOW - JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
-THE FANS CAN'T HELP BUT EXPLODE....AS SNA FLINGS HIMSELF OVER THE TOP ROPE AND SMASHES INTO MORTIUS PUTTING THEM BOTH THROUGH THE GUARDRAIL!!!!!-
Masters: SUICIDAL SENTON!!!! SNA IS NUTS!!!!!
-Security swarms the wreckage....the lumberjacks move in closer....SNA rolls over....AND LIFTS MORTIUS UP....-
Timmons: OH LOOK AT THIS....SNA BACK UP AFTER DESTROYING THAT BARRICADE....AND HE'S USING MORTIUS LIKE A HUMAN SHIELD....SNA WITH A SICK SMILE BACKING AWAY FROM THE LUMBERJACKS AS HE HOLDS ON TIGHT....
Masters: THAT'S BRILLIANT TIMMONS....DON'T HATE!!!!
Timmons: SNA outsmarting the lumberjacks....laughing about it too....AND THEN HE SPINS AND THROWS MORTIUS FACE FIRST INTO THE RING POST!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE ALL OVER SNA!!!!!-
Masters: Damn Mort got his bell rung.....and SNA just....pushes his dead ass under the bottom rope back into the ring.....SNA IS GONNA FINISH THIS MAN....
Timmons: SNA PULLING HIMSELF UP TO THE APRON GINGERLY....HE'S HURTING FROM THE ONSLAUGHT OF MORTIUS AND IT'S SHOWING....BUT HE'S NOT GIVING UP EITHER.....SNA STEPPING THROUGH THE ROPES....AND CROUCHING DOWN LOW AS HE CIRCLES....
Masters: I TOLD YOU....HE'S GONNA GO FOR THE INFINITE JUSTICE.....HERE IT COMES.....
Timmons: SNA STALKING MORTIUS AS HE SLOWLY MOVES BACK UP TO HIS FEET....AND TURNS AROUND....SNA STEPS UP AND THREADS HIM - BUT MORTIUS STARTS THROWING ELBOWS INTO SNA'S HEAD....AND KNOCKS HIM OFF!!!!!
-THE FANS RISE UP!!!! SNA WOBBLES OFF....-
Masters: SNA SENT STAGGERING....MORTIUS ON HIM AGAIN....SLAPS BOTH HANDS ON SNA'S THROAT IN A GOOZLE!!!!!
Timmons: AND SNA IS LIFTED OFF THE GROUND BY THE POWER OF MORTIUS!!!! SNA'S LEGS KICKING WILDLY....HE'S IN A BAD PLACE RIGHT HERE.....
Masters: WELL DUH HE'S CHOKING!!!! AND MORTIUS TOSSES HIM LIKE - WAIT SNA LANDED ON HIS FEET....
Timmons: HE DID....SNA ON HIS FEET....MORTIUS SHOOTS A CLOTHESLINE....BUT SNA DUCKS UNDER AND SPINS.....AND A SECOND SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF MORTIUS!!!!!
-THE FANS DEFLATE BIG TIME!!!! MORTIUS TEETERS AND FALLS BACK INTO THE ROPES, REBOUNDED FORWARD....SNA STEPS INTO HIM AND HOOKS HIM UP....-
Timmons: INFINITE JUSTICE!!!!!
-THE FANS TURN INTO ALL OUT HATRED AS SNA TURNS MORTIUS OVER AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS.....THE REF SLIDES INTO POSITION....-
ONE
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TWO
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THREE!!!!!!
Masters: HE DID IT....SNA.....BEAT.....MORTIUS!!!!!!!
Timmons: HE DID....AND....AND I CAN'T FIND A WAY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.....BOTH MEN BROUGHT EVERYTHING THEY HAD.....BOTH MEN HAD THEIR DIRTY MOMENTS....BUT SNA CAME OUT ON TOP.....
Masters: DAMN RIGHT HE DID. SNA pulling himself up on the ropes here....and....wait a sec....
-SOME FANS IN THE ARENA COME TO THEIR FEET....-
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Masters: Dude....it's that freakshow....
Timmons: That's Devin Hearst....Devin Hearst with a steel chair is coming down to the ring....I'm not sure why but he has Mortius' attention as he rises....MORTIUS RISING UP IN A DAZE.....HEY COME ON....SNA JUST KICKED HIM LOW FROM BEHIND!!!!!
-THE FANS DON'T LIKE THAT!!!!!-
Masters: AND HEARST IS IN THE RING....THROUGH THE ROPES SUPER QUICK HE DROPS THAT CHAIR AND GRABS MORTIUS BY THE HEAD....AND...EWA NEWCOMER DEVIN HEARST PLANTS MORTIUS FACE FIRST ON THAT CHAIR!!!!!
-THE FANS GET REALLY PISSED!!!!-
Timmons: That was a snapmare driver....and now SNA is rolling Mortius over and slamming right hands into his head....THIS IS A MUGGING.
Masters: Yeah? Well what do you call four on one?!
Timmons: I'd call that SNA getting his....while THIS is happening AFTER THE MATCH....
Masters: Oh you've got to be kidding me.
-THE FANS SUDDENLY BLOW UP AS JARRED DANIELS MAXWELL FABIAN AND JESS STARR SLIDE INTO THE RING WIELDING THEIR WEAPONS!!!!!-
Timmons: How do you like that?! THE EXTREME LUMBERJACKS ARE STANDING UP FOR MORTIUS....SNA finally stopping he's standing up shoulder to shoulder with Devin Hearst now....and....he's laughing....SNA is laughing....AND HE JUST SUPERKICKED MAXWELL FABIAN IN THE FACE!!!!!
-THE FANS ROAR WITH HATRED....HEARST STEPS FORWARD AND GRABS THE WEAPONS AWAY FROM JESS STARR AND JAY DANIELS....-
Masters: Dude Daniels GET OUT OF THE RING....I'LL BE STUCK WITH TIMMONS FOREVER!!!!!
Timmons: Shut up.....Hearst backing Jess Starr and Jay Daniels into the corner like cattle....this isn't right Masters.
-The referee tries to get involved....BUT SNA DECKS HIM!!!!! THE FANS ARE ALL OVER HIM AS HE ORDERS JESSICA TOWERS TO HAND HIM THE MIC...which she does without question.-
SNA: Keep 'em in the corner....yeah you stupid fucks want to play wrestler we're gonna play wrestler but I got SOMETHING TO DO FIRST....
-THE FANS ARE BUZZING....Hearst screams at the two in the corner and paces in front of them like an animal....-
Timmons: SNA is directing traffic here....telling Devin Hearst....something and Hearst is back out of the ring leaving SNA to watch over these two....Mortius is sitting up now....OH COME ON!!!!!
-THE FANS ROAR AS SNA SPINS AND KICKS MORTIUS IN THE FACE KNOCKING HIM BACK OVER....-
Masters: Shit's about to get real Timmons....I can feel it....SNA HAS A PLAN HERE....HE IS A WRESTLING GOD AFTER ALL....
Timmons: You sound like an asshole, Masters.
Masters: Writing's on the wall....I back winners, Timmons. You should get on board.
Timmons: Here comes Devin Hearst again....what is that a table? A stained glass table....he's carrying it down to the ring on his head....I....I don't like where this is going....
Masters: Hearst passing the table to SNA through the ropes....and....SNA sets it up.....I told you this is gonna get good....
Timmons: It's sick is what it is you fucking kiss ass. SNA has that...religious looking table set up and now he's telling Devin Hearst to pick Mortius up....Mortius is busted wide open....HE'S STILL GOT SOME FIGHT IN HIM MORTIUS JUST HIT HEARST WITH A RIGHT HAND....BUT SNA KNOCKS HIM BACK DOWN....
Masters: Mortius with nowhere to go....HEARST GRABBING HIS ARMS FROM BEHIND AS SNA HELPS HEARST LIFT HIM UP....HE'S PISSED ABOUT THAT CHEAP SHOT....AND...DEVIN HEARST AND SNA JACK A BATTERED MORTIUS UP HIGH....HOLY SHIT!!!!!
-THE FANS BLOW UP IN SHOCK AND FURY AS MORTIUS' BODY SHATTERS THE TABLE ON IMPACT FACE FIRST!!!!!-
Timmons: SOMEONE....SOMEONE GET OUT HERE AND HELP....LOOK AT SNA BOUNCING AROUND....NOW SLAPPING MORTIUS AS HE LAYS IN THAT WRECKAGE....WHAT A CLASS ACT THIS SNA IS....GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!
Masters: Dude uh....chill out Timmons I mean yeah that was sick but....you better hope they don't hear you....
Timmons: MORTIUS HAS BEEN DECIMATED....And now this psychopatch SNA is dragging Mortius toward the ropes...look at that blood streak across the mat....SNA hopping out here.....pulling Mort through the ropes and standing him up....what's- look....LOOK OUT....
-Timmons and Masters bail as SNA hooks Mortius up and in one fluid motion SLAMS HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, FLATTENING IT WITH AN INFINITE JUSTICE!!!!!-
Masters: That's it! That's it!
Timmons: God....damnit MORTIUS IS OUT COLD....JUST A BLOODY WRECK ON OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE.....
-THE FANS PELT THE RING WITH BITS OF TRASH....SNA STANDS UP AND SPITS ON MORTIUS RAISING HIS FISTS UP HIGH BEFORE GRABBING THE TIMEKEEPER AND THROWING HIM....he takes the chair the timekeeper was sitting on and throws it over the ropes into the ring sliding in....-
Masters: Shove him off, will you?
Timmons: Shut UP MASTERS....
-SNA walks with a limp....he sets the chair up and drops into it casually, crossing one leg over the other. Hearst is back in the corner pacing in front of Daniels and Jess Starr who have not moved an inch....-
SNA: Well that was a fucking joke.
-THE FANS ARE HOSTILE!!!!!-
SNA: Three communications majors and a fucking relic as your hired guns? Is this what you do to make up for the guys you've lost Manning? How many is it now? How many people on your roster have just...disappeared and left you wondering why? HUH?! HOW MANY IS IT MANNING?!?! Jesus Christ....THIS WHOLE PLACE IS A FUCKING JOKE!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE ALL OVER THIS.....A FEW BITS OF TRASH PELT THE RING....SNA SLAPS A FULL CUP OF BEER RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR AND THEN STANDS UP POINTING AT THE CAMERA...-
SNA: But the worst thing....the absolute worst thing that you could ever do is try to hold down GUYS LIKE ME....you tried to hold me down when I won my contract in the case....told me that I couldn't cash in because Buck Evans was in a wheelchair....make sense to any of you toothless sister fucking assholes out there? Probably.....BUT TO THE REST OF US THAT ACTUALLY HAVE A BRAIN IT'S A LOAD OF SHIT!!!!!!
-THE FANS ARE FURIOUS!!!!!-
SNA: Instead of firing one of your hottest new stars to the moon.....YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A CHUMP WALKING AROUND WITH A BRIEFCASE LIKE I AIN'T GOT THE SMARTS TO CASH IN ON A GUY IN A WHEELCHAIR....YOU LET THIS FAT FUCK ROLL AROUND FOR MONTHS AND STILL HAD THE BALLS TO CALL HIM ONE OF YOUR CHAMPIONS WHEN HE COULDN'T EVEN DEFEND THE STRAP....FAR AS I'M CONCERNED BUCK EVANS WAS THE PERFECT FACE OF THIS COMPANY....BROKEN DOWN AND HE DOESN'T WORK....SO I SAID FUCK THIS SHIT YOU CAN'T MAKE A LOGICAL DECISION YOU KEEP BLACKBALLIN' ME IN FAVOR OF YOUR PALS....I'M OUTTA HERE.....THE EWA CAN ROT!!!!!!
-SNA stands up and paces with his limp gripping his hair up and ruffling it....-
SNA: And rot you have. EWA is slowly decomposing but instead of letting it die I've had a change of heart. It's time for a cleansing....IT'S TIME THAT GOD IMPOSED HIS WILL TO RE-MOLD THIS COMPANY INTO HIS OWN VISION WITH THE HELP OF FALLEN ANGELS....
-SNA SLAPS HEARST ON THE SHOULDER.....HEARST SCREAMS IN JARRED DANIELS' FACE....-
SNA: Because I'm BACK...and when we're the only ones left standing on the ashes of what you once called an empire.....THE LAST THING YOU'RE ALL GOING TO SEE IS WHAT YOU'VE CREATED.....AN ANGRY GOD AND HIS WEAPONS OF DESTRUCTION....LOOK AT YOUR APOCALYPSE NOW....YOU'VE ALL JUST OPENED THE DOORS TO THE HOUSE OF PAIN!!!!!!
-SNA THROWS THE MIC DOWN....GRABS HEARST BY THE JACKET AND PULLS HIM BACK....HE LIFTS HIS FIST UP AS HIS MUSIC PLAYS AGAIN....HEARST TRIES TO LUNGE AT DANIELS AND STARR AGAIN BUT SNA PULLS HIM TOWARD THE ROPES AND HOPS OUT....The EMT team finally rushes down the ramp past SNA....he jukes at them and cackles as Daniels, Starr, and Lewis cautiously exit the ring as well...-
Masters: What a statement!
Timmons: Yeah....and that statement is that SNA is a sick bastard. Mortius is being taken out of here by the EMT crew now that SNA and Hearst are leaving....I'm not sure what shape he's going to be in after this....
Masters: What about our table? It's ruined! But that's cool, that's cool.
Timmons: I bet you do think it's cool.
Masters: Oh fuck you Timmons stop being a bitch. At least he let Daniels go! Not sure why....
Timmons: Folks....SNA and Devin Hearst have apparently aligned....and....that just doesn't bode well for EWA....wait a minute....wait a minute we have an update regarding William MacGregor and the Outlaw title....can we.....?
-The shot cuts backstage to William MacGregor is running down a corridor after having changed, the EWA Outlaw title in one arm and a rollaway suitcase being dragged by another hand...MacGregor keeps looking over his shoulder as he exits into the parking garage....he finds his car and hops in....JUST AS WEEZLE COMES TEARING OUT OF THE BACK WITH HIS PIPE....MACGREGOR FLOORS IT....WEEZLE JUMPS ON THE BACK OF THE CAR AND STARTS BASHING THE BACK WINDOW....IT SHATTERS AND MACGREGOR STOPS HARD....WEEZLE FALLS OFF BUT LANDS ON HIS FEET....MACGREGOR PULLS FORWARD....AND THEN LAUNCHES THE CAR INTO REVERSE!!!!!!
Timmons: GOOD GOD GET OUT OF THERE GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!
-WEEZLE JUMPS OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND.....MACGREGOR'S CAR SMASHES INTO A PILE OF CARDBOARD BOXES.....HE SLAMS THE CAR INTO DRIVE AGAIN AND PEELS OUT OF THE PARKING GARAGE.....THE FANS ARE PISSED!!!!! Weezle stands up and dusts himself off....-
Weezle: Well that sucks. MOTHERFUCKER....YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER!!!!!
-WEEZLE HOLDS THE PIPE UP AND SHAKES IT WILDLY.....he turns and storms off....the shot focuses on the shattered glass for a moment before going back to the ring....- Added (2011/08/31, 11:24 PM)
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Timmons: We almost just had a hit and run on our hands!!!!
Masters: MacGregor was being ASSAULTED by a lunatic with a weapon....and you're gonna blame him for trying to defend himself?!? Timmons you're so...cynical!
Jessica Towers: Ladies and gentlemen....THE FOLLOWING MATCHUP IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL....AND IT IS FOR THE EWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
-THE FANS COME BACK TO LIFE....AND GET EVEN LOUDER AS "BLACK BETTY" BY RAM JAM HITS....JIMMY LANE AND BOBBY ROSE COME OUT OF THE BACK IN THEIR TIGHT, BRIGHTLY COLORED SPANDEX AND MATCHING ACID WASHED DENIM JACKETS....THEY BOTH HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER AND THEN TEAR ASS DOWN TO THE RING SLAPPING A FEW HANDS ON THE WAY....-
Tower
The most dangerous man that you haven't even met yet.
SNA is GOD.
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