“I‘M TIRED OF THIS SH*T, MAYNE!”

“Calm down, playboy….you just go out there and do what you do.”

“THEY PULL THIS SAME SH*T, WEEK AFTER WEEK….F*CK THIS, SOMEBODY GET AL SHARPTON ON THE PHONE…WE GON’ MARCH OF THESE MUH’FUKAZ!!!”

The camera-man follows the loud noises into the locker room, un-noticed as we see Leonard Jenkins talking to an enraged “Black Jesus” Marcellus Payne.

-Black Jesus-
“Black Jesus been stuck in these tag matches for weeks…stuck taggin‘ with these losers. Black Jesus been losing too many matches lately, daddy. Because of these tag team partners that can‘t hold a candle to Black Jesus. The timber wolf couldn‘t hold up his end of the bargain and caused us to lose and now Black Jesus gotta team up with Justin Marsham? Where the hell this dude been at lately?”

Leonard Jenkins attempts to calm Black Jesus down by interrupting him.

-Leonard Jenkins-
“Just calm down, Nephew. You’re right, Jack didn’t do a damn bit a good in those tag team matches and who’s to say Marsham will be any better. But think about it this way, you get another shot at the world heavyweight champion…..if….excuse me, playa…WHEN you pin his over-rated ass to the mat, the higher-ups will have no choice but to take notice of the next EWA World Heavyweight Champion!”

-Black Jesus-
“You know what, Leo, Black Jesus like the way you think….Black Jesus gonna have to keep you around, playboy….”

Just then, Black Jesus stops mid-sentence and starts looking around the room in suspicion.

-Black Jesus-
“Leo, you hear somethin‘?”

The camera starts to shake a bit as Black Jesus looks straight at the lens.

-Black Jesus-
“SUM-MUMA BITCH! We got ourselves a peepin‘ tom…..and you know what they do to peepin toms in the joint, daddy! GET YO ASS OVER HERE!”

The camera feed begins to jump around like an episode of NYPD Blue as Black Jesus snatches the camera-man and sits him down. The camera-man puts the camera back on his shoulder as we now see a close up shot of an angry Black Jesus.

-Camera Man-
“Look, I'm sorry, I-I didn't get your name. I got yours, uh, Leonard, right? But-But I-I never got your…”

-Black Jesus-
“My name is Pitt, and your ass ain't talking your way outta this sh*t.”

-Camera Man-
“No, no, no….uhhhh mister Payne…”

-Black Jesus-
“WHITE SUM-MUMA BITCH…. YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS BLACK JESUS!!”

The camera-man jumps at the very sound of anger coming from Black Jesus’ voice.

-Camera Man-
“I’m sorry, I was given strict orders from the higher-ups to go around and dig for dirt, just uhhh juicy gossip for the show and what not.”

-Leonard Jenkins-
“Sounds like a set-up to me, playa.”

Black Jesus tries to hold his anger inside but then proceeds to punch a small hole in the wall beside him as the camera-man recoils in fear.

-Black Jesus-
“Oh…Black Jesus is sorry….he didn‘t mean to break yo concentration. You were sayin somethin about strict orders from the higher ups?…..what‘s wrong? … oh were you done?!…let me ask you somethin…what does Marcellus Payne look like?”

-Camera Man-
“Wha-What?”

Black Jesus flips the near-by table over in pure frustration.

-Black Jesus-
“WHAT COUNTRY YOU FROM?!”

-Camera Man-
“What?”

-Black Jesus-
“-WHAT- AINT NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!….THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN -WHAT-?!?!”

-Camera Man-
“What?”

-Black Jesus-
“ENGLISH, WHITE-BOY….DO YOU SPEAK IT?!”

-Camera Man-
“….yes”

-Black Jesus-
“What does Marcellus Payne….look like?”

-Camera Man-
“Wh….Wh..What?”

Leonard Jenkins throws his hands up in pure disbelief.

-Leonard Jenkins-
“Dis mutha-fukaz unbelievable.”

Black Jesus gets right up in the camera man’s face.

-Black Jesus-
“SAY "WHAT" AGAIN….. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN…. I DARE YOU. I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MOTHERF*CKER. SAY "WHAT" ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!!!”

-Camera Man-
“I-I…I don’t know!”

-Black Jesus-
“DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!”

-Camera Man-
“What?”

Black Jesus slaps the taste out of the camera man’s mouth.

-Black Jesus-
“Does he look…..like a bitch?!”

-Camera Man-
“….no”

-Black Jesus-
“Then why are you trying to play him like a bitch?!”

-Camera Man-
“I’m not…”

-Black Jesus-
“Yes you are..YES YOU ARE, SON! You tried to play Black Jesus like a bitch and Black Jesus don‘t get played for no bitch. Black Jesus play OTHER people like bitches!”

Black Jesus grabs the camera man by his shirt collar and stands him up. Black Jesus then gets behind the camera man as he gets right in his ear as he whispers…

-Black Jesus-
“and you will know his name is Black Jesus, brother…when he lay his pimp hand on you …AND YO MOTHER!”

Black Jesus then lays the camera man out with his finisher “PIMP-tonite”.

-Black Jesus-
“Leo…grab that camera, bro-seph!”

Leonard picks the camera up and points it back at Black Jesus.

-Black Jesus-
“So….higher-ups….you want gossip….Black Jesus got some juicy video footage for you. LIVE from the congregation of Black Jesus and Leonard Jenkins! These damn camera men snoopin around here…..BLACK JESUS SMELL A RAT, DADDY! And Black Jesus wouldn’t put it past Buzzsaw and Jakob Mayhem to pull some dirty ass stunt like this. You boys wanna play, daddy? Black Jesus can play with the best of ‘em….b’lee dat! You boys wanna dance, daddy??…Black Jesus already got his tap shoes on, playah! Buzzsaw, Black Jesus don’t care if you’re the world heavyweight champion…Black Jesus don’t give a damn if you the EWA champion or the superbowl champion…Black Jesus gonna whoop your white-ass with your own kendo stick….with or without Justin Marsham…and bring whoever you want, playah. It simply won’t make a difference, bring Jakob Mayhem….I’ll whoop his ass too.”

Black Jesus looks down at the still fallen camera man before continuing.

-Black Jesus-
“Jakob Mayhem…you think you scare Black Jesus? You aint nothing Black Jesus aint never seen before. You just another notch on Black Jesus’ belt, BITCH! I’m takin you out….then I’m comin after, you…Buzzsaw! …and Justin Marsham, ….buddy, if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, daddy. Oh Black Jesus gonna take you out too. Boys, Black Jesus’ll see y’all inside that ring. Buzzsaw…..heh….Buzz, Saw his last days as the figure head of this company…B’LEE DAT….UGH!!”