| Buzzsaw | Date: Friday, 2011/07/29, 5:54 PM | Message # 1 |
 Jobber
Group: EWA Roster
Messages: 29
Status: Offline
| The Fall Out
Shatter Point
New York
It’s funny how something can be such a good idea one minute and a colossal mistake the next…they gave me a microphone and pointed me to the ring and said go talk…go cut a promo…so I spoke from the heart…said what was on my mind…we were leading to something…something that could have been great…lets face it, not much is going on right now…we are on a decline after a huge Super Card…it happens in this business…we spend so much time and energy to get us to Retaliation…we were bound to come down off that high…but we could have brought the energy back to this place…tore this bitch to the ground…made Stairway to Death look like a slap fight…I was pumped up for it…spend time away to sell it and then……nothing…..
So they tell me to go to the ring…speak my mind…cut the promo…the final shot…and then I get patted on the back…told how fucking great it was….told it all needed to be said…and then….edited out…sure it made live air…but then ownership had a change of heart…maybe the lawyers got involved….maybe they felt they needed to cover their ass…or maybe they realized what people around here where fearing….we had management ready to go to war one day and speaking of détente the next…leaving someone like me out all alone taking bullets for saying what they were all saying backstage leading up to Shatter Point…fuck it….let them edit it off…let them say I spoke without permission…run the disclaimer that those were the opinions and thoughts of Buzzsaw and no way does it represent the thoughts of the EWA…cover your ass…make sure we don’t get screwed…but people who saw it know it happened and I know what was said to me…
This dog and pony show will go on…management will drop to their knees and try to keep it all civil…try to make it one harmonious environment…and prove the Rodney King that WE ALL CAN GET ALONG…and I will be public enemy number one…well that’s fine with me…they can toss me to the wolves to make everyone happy…I’m a big boy…I can take it…punishment for speaking my mind…doing as I was told…funny how views on a situation can change in a moment’s notice…guess I missed that memo…maybe I can plead ignorance like I did when it came to the CEW and CZW…I know those six little old letters upset a lot of people…they are banned on our air waves…oops…I guess that is one more thing to get pissed about…I guess if I’m going to go down I might as well out down in a blaze right…
I never understood this concept of not paying homage to the past…we are who we are because of what we did in the past…in other companies…we are here today because of that…are we just suppose to forget it and move on…act like it never happened…help ownership sell this idea to the fans that they created us…that it was the EWA that made Buzzsaw hardcore…that it was the EWA that made Justin Marsham the technical marvel he is…that it was the EWA that made El Pablo the 5 Star Superstar… that it was EWA who made Chris Johnson the A-List Star he is…no, we are who we are because of what we did in companies like the CEW and CZW that did that and what we did there benefits everyone in the EWA but they want to be able to pull the curtain over everyone and act like they created the stars of today…that they are the creation of the EWA…it’s a joke…but I guess I broke company policy…well oops…
Well my bad for breaking down that wall…for exposing that delusional idea…but that is only the icing on the cake of what I’ve done…the ownership went into damage control, no not that damage control, nobodies getting fired…well…but they went into spin…edit and pulling segments because the facts in the statement where wrong…well who in the hell do you think gave me the information…but yet I’m the bad guy…public enemy number one these days…ok, we can play it that way…they say people in the back are pissed at me…pissed I called them out…where the hell do they get off being pissed…it’s wrestling…shit is said…only one person has the right to really be pissed…only one man has the right to want me served up on a silver platter…everyone else…well tough….
They want to do damage control…well let them…do what you want…say what you want…but don’t expect me to be involved….if you send a man out with a loaded gun shit’s going to happen…you give that man with a gun the wrong information and you will have blood on your hands…Manning and Kash can do what they want…spin…pass the blame…make me the fall guy…fire me…it’s all their call, they run the place…that’s why Tim McFarland has been meeting with them all day…to see what the next plan is…what we all can do to rehabilitate my backstage image…they have too much money involved in Buzzsaw…they can’t have their face being hated and shit on in the public eye…so now the brains of this business will sit down and try to fix my image before it gets too far out of hand…like I have ever cared about what people thought of me…I never pretended to be a nice guy…hell I’m in the hardcore business…I have made a living making people bleed and mangling their bodies to the cheers of the fans…the same fans that buy their crappy product and all their cheesy shit they sell…they don’t give a shit what we do or say as long as they are entertained…that’s all they want…they want to forget about their shitty lives and their crappy jobs and drift off to fantasy land where they too can end all their problems with a chair to somebody’s head…
Ownership is over thinking this…it’s not fucking rocket science…but here I am being dragged into a fight only to be informed afterwards that my actions where uncalled for…and now was going to be force to sit and listen to how they feel I can make it up to the people I upset…well fuck that…I would listen to them but I was not going to do what they wanted me to do anymore…look where that got me…it got me sitting here while my agent is doing damage control and is about to walk through those doors and give me the speech they gave him…was it really worth it…was this headache really worth it anymore…I was a wrestler that was hating the business…I was close to the edge…tired of being used…tired of the bullshit…but as Tim walked through the doors and looked at me I knew he wasn’t about to make things easier…in fact I had never seen Tim looking so beaten…like he had just been brow beat for the past 4 hours…
He looked as tired as I felt…it had been a long week for him…his clients were dropping like flies…Jakob and Ezra were shown the door…kicked off the show and told they were banned from Shatter Point…a team that should be in the tag team picture are now on the outside looking in…for who knows how long….was that going to be my fate…tossed aside like garbage…for doing their work…
Tim McFarland: I have been in meetings all morning with Frankie Manning and the Board of Directors, they are pissed man…
Sure they were…
Tim McFarland: This has gotten way out of hand man, and I’m pissed they put you in this position…
Of course he was…as his top client I was the only one really bringing money in right now…the old Tim would have marched into that meeting today and tore them a new one…but this was corporate Tim…he had changed…gone soft…lost that edge he use to have when he was breaking into this business…the education he received on the streets of Akron…the old Tim would have kicked this Tim McFarland’s ass…he was too busy trying to please everyone now…he was a pussy….
Tim McFarland: They are saying lines where crossed, that you misunderstood what they told you, they are asking me when your last CT scan was…
Ha…blame it on my damaged brain…make it out that the old man got confused because his brain was scrambled…
Tim McFarland: They are passing the blame for the events that happened at Shatter Point solely on you, you are going to be the fall guy on this one and since I wasn’t in the room with you it’s your word verses theirs and Manning is selling the fact you refused to be checked after Retaliation to the board, they think you are hiding something, that you aren’t right, that your head is messed up and the Board of Directors is buying it, I’m sorry, they believe Manning…
That little fuck face…selling me out to the Board of Directors and everyone in the back…he was the one under siege…bitching about what was happening to his company…he was in over his head…letting things slip through his fingers…the EWA was falling apart on his watch…he needed to blame someone…so blame the old man…I was the perfect mark…while everyone was pissed at me they would turn a blind eye to Manning’s mistakes…
Tim McFarland: Manning asked and the Board of Directors agreed that you have to be cleared by their doctors after next week’s Shatter Point…
Buzzsaw: After next week’s Shatter Point, why not right away…
Tim McFarland: Because you have already been booked and are being advertized for next week’s show…
Of course…it was going to be on their terms…they needed me next week…they couldn’t make the change now…it was too late but after next week if there was still heat they could have their doctor’s run their tests and say I wasn’t medically cleared…that I wasn’t of sound mind…they could lay the blame on me…serve me up and wash their hands of the situation and just move on…
Tim McFarland: They are making some major changes in the EWA, getting away from the violence, going to a more traditional wrestling company, making it more corporate and structured. They feel like the inmates are running the asylum and they need to take back the control, so the days of hardcore wrestling are over in the EWA, well after next week that is. They booked you in a Farewell to Hardcore Hardcore Match against Ryan Shane, on the final night of hardcore wrestling in the EWA it will be The Hardcore Icon verses The Straight Edge Curse. They told me to tell you they want you to give hardcore wrestling a proper send off, to give the fans one final look at hardcore wrestling before they take it out back and put a bullet in it once and for all…
Of course they wanted me to be a part of the final hardcore match…I had made a living at this…it’s all I knew…and if this week’s Shatter Point was going to mark the start of its new direction then who better to give the old direction a final send off…or was I giving them too much credit…was this really a treat for the fans or just something because they didn’t know what to do with me now…if the EWA was going hardcore free then what where they going to do with The Hardcore Icon…was it back to the old days here I would be rolled out and put in stupid ass gimmick matches because they couldn’t think of anything better or was this match more…Ryan Shane had a reputation of shelving people…was that what they were hoping was going to happen this week…was I being lead like a lamb to slaughter…was Ryan Shane ordered to silence me once and for all…it was a Farewell to Hardcore…and I was hardcore wrestling…
Tim McFarland: They feel like these moves will allow them to take the necessary steps in make the EWA a global empire, that there was been too much backlash towards management over the last few months on how they have handled things. This way they can take back the power and give this company some structure.
Buzzsaw: And what do you think about this Tim…
Tim McFarland: Well I think it’s all a bunch of bull shit. They are trying to become something they are not, bowing down to a few criticisms and blowing up the entire thing and starting over. Jesus Christ the EWA isn’t even a year old and how many times has management switched, the fans don’t see it, they parade Manning out there like he’s calling the shots but behind the scenes, ownership is tossed around like the popular chick in high school, it seems like everyone gets a turn running this bitch, that everyone has a different direction they want to take this company and it’s you guys that are getting hurt, they are fucking with your livelihood.
Tim was right…I would have never come to the EWA if it wasn’t for their loose views of the rule book…Japan would have been a better option for me…they were offering more money…but I wanted to wrestle at home…in front of my fans…looks like I made the wrong call…
Tim McFarland: I asked them what they had planned for you now and they wouldn’t discuss that with me until you passed the CT Scan and there was one more thing Buzz…
What now…what could be worse…
Tim McFarland: They want you to apologize, to the fans, to the guys you offended and to Nick Alexander himself, this wasn’t a request Buzz…
Buzzsaw: FUCK THAT, I’M NOT DOING IT!!! BUZZSAW DOESN’T SAY HE’S SORRY!!!!
Tim McFarland: You have no choice Buzz, they said it was part of the deal, this apologize and to pass that test, until then you’re going to be held off TV…
Buzzsaw: Well after next week of course….
Tim McFarland: Of course, they need you next week. It’s already been booked and advertized, it’s business you know…I’m sorry man….
And there it was…my punishment…I was going to have to play by their rules or be kept off their air waves…I was under a EWA contract…I had no choice…Tim was going to tell me that if I fought it…they had me over a barrel…I had done their dirty work…and then they sold me out without a second thought…and now under the new vision of the EWA…I was expendable…and they had not problems tossing me out with the garbage….we were at a standstill…but for now I still had one week…one final match….and they couldn’t take that from me….and if this was going to be the final time the EWA fans saw Buzzsaw then I was going to give them The Hardcore Icon in all his glory…and after that….well fuck it!!!!!
The Blending of Generations
The House of Hardcore
South Boston
They are looking at me like I’m heading to my death sentence…they won’t say it but I can see it in their eyes…he’s younger…has my number…he just beat me months ago…what has changed now…sure they fake the conversation…tell me I have this one…that the last one was a fluke but I can tell it’s all lip serves…I can see it in their eyes they don’t believe the shit they are saying…they are just hoping I come back in one piece…still able to run this place and write them their checks…they don’t believe in me…hell I can’t blame them…I had been on a hell of a roll and now I was on a free fall down…how far was I going to fall…who knows…but facing Ryan Shane in the final hardcore match in the EWA wasn’t the way to stop the fall…not in their eyes….
How times have changed in this business…this place, The House of Hardcore was filled with kids…men and women alike wanting nothing than to be in this business…they come here every day and kill themselves in that ring…they will do anything we tell them to do…would walk through fire if we told them that’s that they needed to do…this generation is so different that mine…and the one before mine…sure I trained…but it wasn’t in a place this nice…it was a shit hole…back in Akron, Ohio…Lou’s…he tried his best to teach us the basics…which was funny as hell since he never wrestled a day in his life…the local promotions funded him…used his place to see if anyone had promise…but it was a hard life…not something that was glorified…it was never my dream to wrestle professionally…it shocks people when I say that…I was just looking to stay out of jail and make a few bucks…I wasn’t a wrestling fan growing up…I just got into fights…as a kid and as an adult…trouble followed me and in the ring…well I could let out that anger and not be charged with assault….
For my generation it was a tough life…the veterans in this business when we were green were tough on us…we were their competition…the ones that were going to replace them…we were not welcomed in the locker room…we would find our stuff missing…fucked with by the guys who didn’t want us there…and we felt it in the ring…they were looking to hurt us…to send us a message…hell my first few scars in this business was from older guys wanted to send me a message…it was a constant battle with those guys but slowly over time we pushed them out and ushered in our own generation…they just got to the point where they couldn’t keep up…we got stronger…better…and it showed in the ring…legends of this business…beaten and battered from years of service were suffering inside that ring each and every night by our generation…we snuck in the door and were now forcing them out that same door…we knew it…we knew we were replacing them…the booking showed it…and they were starting to see it…less title matches…being pushed farther and farther down the card….men that were Main Eventing shows were now opening them…just so people could say yeah I saw him…they had once refused to believe the writing that was on the wall but now they had no choice…it was clear as day…
Sure some tried to stick it out…they went to drastic measures…roids…pain killers…anything that could keep them around…give them one more shot….one more night in the sun…but we saw them as a reminder of the past…we wanted to usher in the future…our future…so we showed them the same respect they showed us when we were breaking in…they didn’t want us around then and we sure as hell didn’t want them around when it was suppose to be our time…they had pride…they loved this business more than we did…I can see that now…my generation never had that love…but we showed them no mercy…we were looking to hurt them…send them a message that there time was up…I remember one legend told me my time would come and his only hope was that I would come up against a young buck that would so me the same lack of respect I showed him…I laughed it off…I was a young stupid kid…I was going to live forever….
The older guys never had to go from town to town…they worked territory….some never left the state they lived in…they didn’t live on the road like we did and do today…they slept in their own beds…at their own houses…they saw their wives and kids…we didn’t have that luxury…we were on the road 300 days a year…we had international tours…the business had changed…and we dealt the only way we knew how…we were all young kids with money in our pockets and in a new city every night…we hit the bars…the strip clubs…we were looking to get laid each and every night…to have a good time…booze…women…drugs…guys like Sid Simelia, Matt Covey, Descendent and myself we lived life hard…we got through our pains by abusing whatever we could and now I look around and see that I’m the only one left…the so called experts say we lived…had too many vices…that there was no way we could last…no way we would live to see fifties…
But in what seemed like a blink of an eye a new generation of wrestlers started biting at our heals…and just like how we had nothing in common with the generation before us this new crop of wrestlers were the farthest from us…they grew up watching us on TV…watching wrestling…hoping that one day they could be in that ring…they dedicated themselves to make their dreams come true…everything and everybody that could derail this dream has to go…they would not be denied…most of this kids come from rough homes…alcoholic parents…parents with drug habits…the fact they made it to their twenties is shocking when you hear their childhood tails…most will tell you they knew as a kid they wanted to be a wrestler…and sure maybe as a kid they idolized some of us but it didn’t take them long to despise us and our lifestyle…
Maybe it was that we took for granted what they wanted so badly…maybe it was that we reminded them of the fathers that would beat them with the leather belt as children…or maybe they just looked down at us they way we did the generation before us…who know, maybe it was all of it but it was clear they didn’t like or respect the way we did things…this generation loved this business and looked at us as if we were ruining what they loved…guys like Ronnie McNeil, Mike King, Xavier Reid and Ryan Shane…they are not out at all hours of the night in bars…no they are in the gym…training…trying to be the very best they can be…they live clean lifestyles…and all get lumped into being Straight Edge…but that’s ignorant…I can see it now…maybe it’s because I’m on my way out…maybe it’s because I look around the locker room and see less of me and more of them but I can see the future of this business all around me…and these guys deserve more credit than they are getting…
I have been one of the people that have looked down at the way they lived their lives…lumped them all into the same lame category…but they deserve better…better than the way we were treated…they are not going to embarrass the business the way we did…trashing hotel…smacking around women…being so drunk in the ring you can barely stand….they respect the business in a way we never did…like I said…I never really wanted to be a wrestler…it was just a way to make some cash…but these kids…they want it…they love it…they respect it…and they got booed because of it…the fans wouldn’t except them on the bigger stage…they like us were ignorant….but over time they are getting their loyal fan base…fans that can see what they mean to this business…these fans see that they are the best in the ring and on the mic…they just don’t have the respect yet because their names are big enough…all except for Ryan Shane…
He is clearly the break out star…the future of this business…the man that will lead the next generation of stars after we are all long and gone…he’s not going to just sit back and wait his turn…fuck that he’s going to take the spot light…he’s the new generation star that can do it all…a hybrid style of wrestling that makes him dangerous in any match…and the thing that sets him apart from everyone else…he knows he’s good…that cocky little edge…it’s what makes him so good…no fear…no doubt…no stage is too big…I didn’t give him the credit…I just labeled him like all the rest…but I can now see that I was wrong…who gives a fuck if he’s Straight Edge or not…it’s not what should define him…it’s not how I’m going to define him…he deserves better than that…
Ryan Shane will be a World Champion one day…one day soon and yeah yeah I know he’s been a World Champion before…but I’m talking on a bigger scale…in a national company…he’s distained to be great…that’s what makes this match so important to me…I have no idea what will happen after next week…for all I know this will be my last match in the EWA and how fitting it is that it’s against Ryan Shane…a sort of passing the touch…but in his mind I will pass him nothing…he will simply take it…I have been in his shoes…been in the ring with the aging star…and wanting nothing more than to take him out once and for all…I’m not bitter about it….I will hold no grudge…want no future retaliation…I will simply walk into the ring and face the future with my head held high…and if this is truly it…if this is the last time Buzzsaw steps into the ring I will know that I went out facing the best that is to come…a man that will lead the next generation of stars…the man that they will all fear as they once feared me…Ryan Shane once said he looked up to me…and I wish he hadn’t….I was no role model…hell I’m still no role model…a guy like me can’t change…I am who I am…it’s all I know….but it’s I who look up at these kids today…
I can see the love in their eyes….I have never loved anything half as much as they love this business…I was where because I had nowhere else to go…I didn’t care about this business…sure I grew to tolerate performing…but never loved it…I was loyal to those who were loyal to me…it was the true hardcore fans that brought me back from Japan…they saw the old tapes…traded them…wrote letters on my behalf…and to them I was loyal…I wanted to give them what they came to see…but at the end of the night I retreated to the closed bar I could find and couldn’t care less…I saw titles as a way to make more money…these kids see titles as a way to cement their names in history….they want to be remembered years from now and couldn’t care less about the added salary that came along with the gold…they want their names to go down next to the greats…to make good on a promise they made in their backyards that one day they would hold that gold up high and do it right…do it proud…I see that now…I get it…
So if this is truly it than I’m glad it’s going to be Ryan Shane…he will want to be the one to end the old man…to show everyone that he’s the baddest mother fucker in the business and what better way to cement his future…to cement his place in this business then to once and for all ending my career…in my match…the style that made me famous…the final hardcore match in EWA…the farewell to hardcore…it’s all right there for him…all he has to do is take me out once and for all and my kingdom is his…he can end a generation…and usher in his all in one night…and everyone around us knows it…it’s why people are walking around me….looking at me like I’m on my very own death march…one final match…one final time…I get to do what made me famous…and Ryan Shane gets to show the world why he’s the most feared man in this business…it doesn’t need selling…it doesn’t need hyped…you can feel …sense it…a changing of the guard is upon us….and this week at Shatter Point….it’s out with the old…and in with the new….
Just Walk Away
Morgan Mayhem’s Brown Stone
New York
Morgan Mayhem: You look tired…
She knew me well…maybe too well…there was no point trying to lie to her…I wasn’t going to be able to tell her I was fine…she knew what I was thinking…hell she came back from California to make sure I was all right…all the bull shit that we had been fighting about was swept under the rug…she was here to make sure I was ok…to help make since of a difficult situation…and she did so without needing to hear an apology…she had been around this business long enough to know that we as wrestlers here going to do stupid shit from time to time…
She felt betrayed…that I valued Tim’s advice over hers…she didn’t think it was necessary to do Stairway to Death at Retaliation…that was just feeding the monster that the EWA was trying to create…that it had come time to start worrying about my well being and not care what the suits wanted…they would not be happy until I was in a wheel chair…those were her final words to me as she stormed out…but all was forgotten…she didn’t harp on it…it was over…the title was gone and she wasn’t going to pour salt in that wound…she was here now because she cared and she knew she had my attention…sure Tim was consulting…talking to the both of us on what he thought I should do next with my career…maybe it was because they were on the same page for the first time in their lifetime…there was no hard feelings between them…nothing but respect from the two over the last few days…they wanted what was best for me…both of them…
Buzzsaw: I’ll be fine, just need to get through this week…
Morgan Mayhem: Yeah and then what?
All my options were laid out for me…Tim had done a great job covering everything…he wasn’t going to tell me what to do…he was putting business aside and approaching this as my friend…it made no since for him to tell his client to sit out and have the pay checks stop…sure Tim still had Jakob, Ezra and Sledge but I was bringing in high bucks to McFarland Inc. and the missing 10% would hurt but he didn’t care…it seemed even Tim was at his breaking point with the EWA…he had been jerked around too much…he had 3 of the best guys on their roster and was being treated like a second class citizen…he didn’t like being on the outside looking in…or being kept in the dark…he was at his breaking point now due to all the bull shit of last week…his tag teamed banned from the arena and me having to jump through hoops just to step foot into the ring…
We were all pissed about this move in philosophy from the EWA…its hardcore background is what drew me to them…it’s what brought the Mayhem’s to the EWA…New York was a hardcore town…one of the birthplaces for hardcore wrestling in the United Sates…it made since to launch the EWA there…say what you want about K.C. Kash he had mind for these things…he put EWA in a position to succeed in New York but after less than a year he felt the EWA needed a makeover…we were becoming more like what is already out there…to make it global they felt we needed to be less like what had made us successful and more like what made the other companies successful…at the end of the day it was Kash’s call…maybe he didn’t like the idea of seeing someone like me as the World Champion…or maybe he just didn’t like the idea of his ring being blown up at the end of the match even though it made national news…
There was a change in professional wrestling…a change in how we did things…the EWA was the last haven for hardcore wrestling in the United States…but I was the last of my generation…the last of a dying breed…sure I could try to stick it out…see if the EWA has a change of heart…or just drop down and dominate the Underground Title but wouldn’t that just be a step backwards…this new EWA wasn’t what I signed on for…it wasn’t why I picked the EWA over other companies that wanted my services…if I had wanted to be in a company like we were becoming I would have taken the larger pay day from the WCWF…
Morgan Mayhem: You guys are not part of this, you and Total Mayhem, they are cutting you off at the knees…
Buzzsaw: Yeah I get it…
Morgan Mayhem: Do you, do you really get it! This move the EWA is making is to usher in the new breed of stars and push you guys out, sure you will have a place, they still need names but the days of you guys headlining cards are over…
She was right…the movement to the next generation had begun…the change in culture in the EWA had begun…this week marked the end of the old…and starting next week the EWA would be just like all the rest of the crap that was on…safe…polite…kid friendly…PG…there would be no more blood and gore…no more Buzzsaw…sure they will hide behind the Underground Title and say see we still have hardcore wrestling in the EWA but it will be watered down…hell look at the title now…really…Ruthless Agression just screams hardcore wrestling…sure I could drop down and try to restore the hardcore in the Underground division but it would just be like old times…I would be stuck being the opening act…just someone to put asses in the seats and get them ready for the true talent of the company…a side show freak…and I wasn’t going to do that…
I had proven to everyone that I could carry a company on my back…that I could headline Super Cards and be the face of a company…the EWA was successful during my reign…nobody can deny that…I helped build The Colosseum…I was its top gladiator…and I fight as such each and every night…no I couldn’t go back to just being the class of the Underground Division after being the class of the EWA…if this week’s Shatter Point was going to be the final act in my career in the EWA then I wanted to go out in a manner fitting a gladiator…one final battle…one final thumbs up or thumbs down…giving the fans exactly what they paid to see…blood…gore…good old fashion hardcore wrestling….
Buzzsaw: I’ll just get through this week and see what happens Morgan…
Morgan Mayhem: What I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t need it, any of it, this business, the EWA, you can just walk away…
Buzzsaw: It isn’t that easy…
Morgan Mayhem: Sure it is, they want you to take that test say no, they will keep you off the air and you can figure out what’s next. You have the school, you can go back to Boston, train the students and wait them out…
Buzzsaw: Yeah and then what…
Morgan Mayhem: That’s the beauty, then it’s your call, you can go back to Japan or go to the highest bidder or you can just say you’ve had enough and let this match be it…do what so many wrestlers can’t do, walk away before they shove you out the door…not become one of those guys who just can’t let go, you have so much more Buzz, you are so much more…
Buzzsaw: So you think I should just call it a day…
Morgan Mayhem: I think you have options and so does Tim, it took a lot for him to separate business and friendship, if you sit out, stay off air he’s going to lose money but he’s telling you to do what’s best for you, he’s talking to you as a friend and not an agent but we can’t make that decision for you, you have to call the shots, I just want you to know we are behind you but don’t think you just have to bow down to the EWA, they need you more than you need them…
It was clear…she wanted me to step back…neither of us had every know anything but this business but she walked away…she was out there waiting for the day that I too would step back and realize what she had…that there is more to life than the squared circle…sure I would always be a part of the business…The House of Hardcore would make sure of that but I could be on the outside looking in…I didn’t need them…I didn’t need it…for the first time in a long time I was happy personally…sure professional I was miserable as hell but personally things couldn’t have been better…
Maybe she was right…maybe I should just call it a day…just go home after this week and never look back…wait them out…it was only 14 months…a little over a year…I could keep myself busy…I could promote my own events in Boston…work with the local promoters…really grow the business like no other has…hadn’t I proven enough in the ring already…what else was there to do…maybe Tim and Morgan were right…maybe I should just step away before I was forced out…leave on my terms…leave them before they left me…
Morgan Mayhem: We just want what’s best for you, they owe you more than this, you went out on a ledge for them, you signed with them when you had better offers because you believed in what they were trying to do, in their vision, well that vision has changed and sadly you are not in it anymore. They have made their choice, they are moving in a different direction, nobody will fault you for doing the same. They feel like this is the best choice for them, they said it was business, well shouldn’t you start to see it the same way? I know you are loyal, you want to do right by them but there comes a time were you have to do right by yourself, this isn’t what you signed on for, they changed the rules in the middle of the damn game Buzz…
Buzzsaw: I KNOW THAT MORGAN, DAMN IT, I KNOW THAT…
Morgan Mayhem: The fans won’t fault you, they won’t Buzz I promise you that…
Buzzsaw: You can’t make that promise…
Morgan Mayhem: Yeah I can, the true hardcore fans will not fault you for leaving, they won’t stick around and watch as they nurture the EWA, they will respect you for taking a stand…
Buzzsaw: Yeah but will I respect myself for it…
Morgan Mayhem: You have nothing to be ashamed about, you gave this business everything you have for years, your blood, sweat and flesh, you owe it nothing more, you don’t have to wait around until it’s done with you and spits you out a broken old man, you can end it on your terms, with one final match, your finest match…a farewell to hardcore…A FAREWELL TO BUZZSAW…
She made it sound so easy…
~FIN~
 
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