| Black_Jesus | Date: Friday, 2011/06/03, 8:02 AM | Message # 1 |
 Jobber
Group: EWA Roster
Messages: 32
Status: Offline
| Saturday May 21st 2011 05:30p.m.
The scene opens up inside the Colosseum where we are greeted by Jenny Jacobs at ringside.
“Hello everybody and welcome back to the special show from EWA, live at the Colosseum. If you’re just joining us, EWA decided to host a special “Rapture Showcase” live from our brand new Colosseum. Now, if you don’t know what we are referring to, allow me to explain. Christian radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio, Harold Camping, boldly predicted that the rapture would take place today at six o’ clock p.m. …now a lot of us are skeptical, but the EWA has taken this opportunity to celebrate once again.”
The scene then transitions back to Daniels and Masters at ring-side.
“I gotta say, William, this was a genius idea by the higher-ups of EWA to take advantage of a skeptical and might I add, a humorous situation by giving these people want they want, an action packed show while we all wait for (air quotes) “the end of the world”…”
“You know what, Jarred, I am actually HOPING that these ridiculous rumors are in fact true and we do witness the end of times, because that would mean me not having to deal with your mouth anymore.”
“I love you too, William.”
Later on in the show - 05:55p.m.
The scene opens back up on Daniels and Masters
“What a show we have had so far, and who knows what’s gonna happen next but this is EWA so anything could happen.”
“Take him Jesus! Take him now!”
“Have fun in hell, William. Let‘s go back to Jenny Jacobs, standing by.”
We see Jenny Jacobs standing by with mic in hand, talking up a storm but no sound is heard, for some odd reason. A marquee scrolls across the screen which reads:
“Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By.”
Several minutes of no sound and fading picture feeds are followed and then all of a sudden all the lights in the arena go out, leaving everybody in attendance in a black out. After several more minutes of blackness, the big screens in the arena fill with static, followed by an unusual video feed.
VIDEO LINK
The screens in the arena all go black, once again leaving the entire arena in darkness until a bright white light surprised everyone, laminating in the middle of the ring, shining brightly down upon an unidentified man, wearing a white robe, and a crown of thorns upon his head, the likes of Jesus Christ. This man, who we now clearly see is “Black Jesus” Marcellus Payne, stands in the middle of the ring, with his hands risen out while he glares down at the canvas, motionless and speechless until he lowers a mic down to his mouth and begins to speak, still in the spotlight, illuminating amongst the dark arena.
“Destruction cometh….and they shall seek peace……and there shall be none."
The entire arena begins to boo, massively as Black Jesus cracks a subtle smirk on his face.
“Harold Camping wasn’t completely wrong in his prediction, he just got the wrong Jesus, sorry I’m a little late…..This industry and all of it’s followers are afraid of Black Jesus. He has seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the haters and non-believers will look up and shout "SAVE US!"... and I'll look down and whisper "no." They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my Black Jesus and Leonard Jenkins. Instead they followed the droppings of a squirrel and his boy-toy, Eli Sweeney and didn't realize that the trail led over a cliff until it was too late. Don't tell Black Jesus they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell... and all of a sudden you all wanna jump on the bandwagon but I‘m afraid it‘s too late…”
A man is heard yelling from over by the entrance.
“TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN, NEPHEW!”
Another spotlight shines upon the entrance area where we see Leonard Jenkins, on his knees, praising the word of Black Jesus.
“TAKE ME WITH YOU, NEPHEW!”
“Brother Jenkins….fear not for you will be Black Jesus’ first choice to be taken to Shangri-la.”
Jenkins gets up, walks to the ring, gets in and drops back to his knees, hands in the air, looking up at Black Jesus.
“On your feet, Brother Jenkins, for you already proven your loyalty to Black Jesus.
Jenkins stands to his feet as he looks upon the booing crowd.
“You have already been chosen for the rapture. Unlike that of Eli Sweeney and his band of merry men. Eli, you and your entire group, “Too Damn White“…the flamboyant squirrel, the seventies porn star, and that false prophet, super hero…will all be left behind to rot in this cesspool you all call, planet Earth.”
“Folks I apologize to you all here and watching at home. This has to be greatly offensive to anybody to believes in religion, even for EWA, this is just too much.”
“Oh shut up, Jarred, don’t talk during the sermon, I’m loving every minute of this”
“Eli Sweeney, don’t think that just because you’ve beaten Black Jesus before that lightning will strike twice. Black Jesus gets better and stronger everyday of his life, daddy and Monday night at Shatter Point, you’re in for the worse night of your life, playboy. Black Jesus is on a mission and you‘re in Black Jesus‘ way…..but not for long.”
The fans continue to boo Black Jesus, growing even louder and angrier before starting to chant:
“YOU SUCK!”
“YOU SUCK!”
“YOU SUCK!”
Black Jesus just looks on in humor as the subtle smirk on face grows even bigger.
“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Eli, I‘ll see you at Shatter Point, bring your boy band with you, you‘ll need all the help you can get.”
“Amen, my brothah!”
“WELCOME TO MY HOOOOD!!”
Black Jesus’ them plays on as the scene ends
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